Dear Miss Swan
by bethviolet
Summary: Dear Miss Swan, It has come to my attention that the semi-nude photographs you emailed me were not accidental. If this be the case please report to my office, 11am, sans clothes. If not, then please feel free to ignore this email. Sincerely Edward Cullen. ON TEMP HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Miss Swan...**

**A/N: Yes another new story from me. I'm sorry if your waiting for an update of my other stories, but once an idea gets into my head, I just can't seem to let it die, I have to put pen to paper...or fingers to keys haha.**

**Anywho...this is a drabble story, and I have really no idea how long it's gonna go on for, there's no plan it's purely for entertainment value. **

**Hope you enjoy and review!**

**Many of you are unaware of this, but I actually don't own Twilight. (dun dun dunnnn)**

**Chapter 1.**

_Dear Miss Swan,_

_It has come to my attention that the semi-nude photographs you emailed me were not accidental. If this be the case then please report to my office, 11 am sharp, in said bra and panties, sans clothes. However if this not be the case, then feel free to ignore this email._

_Sincerely Edward Cullen _

_C.E.O of Cullen Enterprises. _

There. That should do it. Miss Swan and I have been pussy footing around each other for weeks now, ever since I hired her and _today _I was finally hoping to get me some real pussy.

She's one of the hottest women that I have ever laid eyes on, and our consent flirting was beginning to drive me insane. She's turned me down numerous times when I asked her out, and I was beginning to think she wasn't interested, just liked a little flirt.

After the realisation came to me, I began to give her space. You know, space to realise she wants me just as much as I want her. So imagine my surprise when I opened my email Saturday morning and there nestled between Aro Volturi's complaints about the printer ink and my mother's nagging about a family lunch, was an email attachment from the delectable Miss. Swan.

I somehow managed to choke on my own saliva when I opened it. Sat back on her knees, red lace covered breasts pushed out...the look of pure lust covering her features. Even the little mole she has on her stomach seemed to turn me on.

Assuming it was accidental, I tried to ignoring it. _Try _being the operative word, that didn't mean my resolved didn't brake and I found myself jacking off to the image over and over and over and over.

However during the weekend, I found my inbox becoming rather fond of emails from Miss. Swan, as two more images filtered through. Each one she was clad only in the red lace bra and panties, only each image become more and more..._sexy._ If that's even possible.

And I knew, on Sunday night when the most recent email came through that I could no longer ignore it.

So now it's a waiting game...

**a/n: as it's only a drabble I'm gonna try and give you at least one a day, but there will probably be more than one a day. **

**Let's just see how it goes. **

**Reviews will make me keep writing, so if you want more, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: here's another one! Reviews really do mean the world to me, so please please please, if your enjoying this so far, then review. Else I may just stop writing!**

**Chapter 2.**

_11:25._

the clock on the bottom of my computer screen mocks me.11:25 and no Miss Swan.

_Damn, maybe those pictures were a mistake. _

And now I've made things ten times worse. She's never going to agree to go out with me now, knowing what a perv I am.

A knock my office door sounds, and I reply, head in hands and eyes clenched shut "what?"

I hear the door open and someone enter, but make no move. It's my assistant Angela bringing me my messages.

Knowing she won't begin until I look, I straighten up just as a sweet and sultry voice rings out.

"now, now Mr. Cullen. I was lead to believe that if I followed your orders I would be greeted much more warmly"

I have to fight myself to stop my jaw dropping to the floor. There she's stood, her dress in a pool around her feet, wearing the red lace I had been dreaming about for the past two days, only now the outfit is complete with her black 'fuck me' heels on.

_Fuck me!_

"you're late Miss Swan. Here at Cullen Enterprises we like our staff to be punctual" my voice is somewhat stern as I try and mask the husk threatening to take over. I stand up as I speak, showing her my obvious reaction to her attire.

"Well Mr. Cullen, _please _let me make it up to you" she breaths, her eyes trained on the bulge in my pants"

**a/n: I can't believe I stopped there! **

**Reviews may make me post another tonight!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the lovely reviews who made me want to post another. **

**Last one tonight (well it's tonight over here in England)**

**Chapter 3.**

"and what do you have in mind Miss Swan?" I find myself literally panting, as she her body begins making it's way over to me.

She's in reaching distance, and my hands automatically go to grab her, but her body turns as she sits herself upon my desk. Her _long _legs are crossed, and everything is on display for me. I have a perfect view of her breast that are barely being contained in her bra, and I can see all the way up her creamy thigh towards the promised land.

I reach forward unable to resists, and she allows me to situate myself between her legs, my hands around her waist, feeling her smooth as silk skin.

Even though her whole body is on view for me, I find myself unable to tare my gaze away from her eyes. Big, brown, chocolate pools. So big I could actually swim in them.

Needing to be closer, my eyes dart to her lips just as her tongue is making it's journey across. Leaning is close, my lips just a hair away from hers... when I feel her shoe bound foot press against my chest.

"ah, ah, ah" she sings, as her foot begins pushing me away.

_Damn, she's bendy...and fucking strong._

The heel of her shoe pressed seemingly lightly against my chest, causes pleasurable pain as I fall onto my office desk, with a groan.

_So fucking close_.

I see this as rejection...

until I look up...

She's laid back on her elbows, her knees wide...giving me the most spectacular view.

**a/n: yeah... please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: I can't thank reviewers enough. Really, you make my writing worth while. I'm busting my arse off to write these for you, and your reviews are what I do it for.**

**This fic is really to practice writing lemoney scenes, so all the advice and tips are really helpful!**

**Okay, let's get on with it...**

**Chapter 4.**

I can't keep my hands from trembling as they skim up her thighs. Her soft, creamy thighs.

As I journey up, higher and higher, her whimpers become more desperate. I can see how drenched her sex is, through her panties. So wet it's even seeped onto her legs.

Smirking, I lean down, my eyes never leaving hers.

"do you want me here, Miss. Swan?" I speak, my breath hitting her right _there._

"oh fuck!...yes!" she moans.

"yes, what?" I say before swiping my tongue across her cloth covered sex.

"_please _Mr. Cullen, I want you there!" she screams, and I can't find it in me to care if anyone can hear her.

"and what do you want me to do, Miss Swan?"

"oh for fuck sake! Stop teasing me!" her hips thrust upward, trying to create some friction against my mouth.

"stop teasing you? Like how you were teasing me?" my mouth began travelling upwards, away from her pussy and up her stomach.

"_no no no!_" she whined, as she tried to push me back towards where she wanted me most "but you liked my teasing"

"you don't like this?" my lips never left her skin, my tongue flicking inside her belly button.

"yes! No! I just want..oh!"

"Hello darling, I was just wondering- OH MY GOD!"

Bella screamed as she jumped up off the desk, and hide behind it.

_Why the fuck hadn't she locked the door?_

**a/n: lmao so who came is? **

**Please let me know what you thought. As some of you may know, I'm extremely nervous about the upcoming wedding night in 'I'll mend your heart' and this is a little practise to see how I do. So what do you think so far?**

**Okay, hands up! Who's had they're pancakes? (I have). Actually, do you have _pancake day_ in other countries? Tell me where your from and whether you have a _pancake day _or not? I'd love to know.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: just so you know, the more reviews i get the sooner the next update.**

**Chapter 5**

"mom, what are you doing?" I demand, before shrugging out of my jacket, and handing it to Bella to cover herself with.

"well I was just stopping by for a moment, I didn't know I was...erm, _interrupting _anything" her eyes cast downwards, and she caught sight of Bella's discarded dress.

Only to make matters more mortifying, she bent down to collect the offending item of clothing. "I'll just put your dress over here, dear. So it doesn't crease" she said as she placed the dress over one of the chairs.

"mom, what did you want?" I grit, trying to hurry her up.

"oh! Well I was just wondering if you were able to get the day off for your cousins wedding this Saturday?"

"you could have called, mom"

"yes, but I emailed you, and you never replied, so I decided to drop by.

"I'm sorry, I've been really busy" I mutter, and she quirks an eyebrow, her eyes darting towards the desk, that Bella is currently hiding behind.

I sigh "Of course I can have the day off, I do own my own company you know"

"yes well...I just wanted to check"

"okay, bye Mom" I dismiss her before she can talk any more.

"oh, I get it, I get it! But feel free to bring your girlfriend with you. I'd love to meet her"

"Mom-" but she interrupts me.

"I was just saying-" she raises her voice, as though Bella would be unable to hear if she spoke at a normal volume "please come to my nephew's wedding. I'd love to get to know you. And don't worry, we'll forget this ever happened"

"mom _please_!" I begged.

_Could this get any more mortifying?_

"okay, okay, I just need to know what name to put on the guest list"

"mom-"

"oh Edward, please tell me you know the poor girls name!" she demands.

"of course I know her name! I just think that right now is not the time for this conversation. I'll call you later" my eyes cast down to Bella, and I see her face buried into her hands, as she shakes her head.

"your right. I'll be going then" she shuts my office door behind her, and I breath a sigh of relief.

_Now just for some damage control._


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 6.**

"Bella, I'm-"

"don't!" she demands as she stands up. Handing me back my jacket she reaches for her dress, and begins putting it back on.

_No! no don't do that!_

"Bella-"

"we were just walked in on, by your mother! Do you have any idea how mortifying that was?"

"yes Bella, believe it or not I was present too. But it doesn't matter, she's cool" I shrug.

"no mother's _that _cool" she snaps at me, as she smooths down her dress.

"Look, I know your embarrassed but it's really fine. Come to the wedding on Saturday, and you'll see for yourself" I pleaded with her.

"you think I'm going to that wedding? You've got to be joking!" her glare is actually scaring me now. Her face is flushed bright red, and her eyes are as hard and cold as ice.

"Bella please! She's not gonna leave me alone until she gets to meet you" my hand is threaded into my hair as I tug it.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I just _can't_" her face is softer now, eyes not glaring any more. She begins making her way towards the door.

"when can I see you again?" I don't even care how whiny and pleading my voice sounds right now.

"I don't know, Edward. When I can look at you and not picture your mother's face as she walked in. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to endure a day of whispers and gossip as all our co-workers now know we were screwing. All this grief and we never even got to do anything"

I let her leave, but this is not the end.

Not even close.


	7. Chapter 7

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 7.**

_Dear Miss Swan,_

_It has come to my attention that you are avoiding me. Either that or I have been extremely unfortunate in seeing you around the office. If there is a problem I would appreciate it if we could discuss the matter appropriately._

_I hope to be speaking to you soon._

_Sincerely Edward Cullen _

_C.E.O of Cullen Enterprises._

I haven't even seen Bella since the disaster Monday morning. It's now Wednesday, and I'm determined to speak with her.

I'll do whatever it takes for her to look at me. Just for her to see me, and we'll be okay again.

I have a feeling it may not be that simple though.

_One new message._

Thank fuck! From Isabella Swan.

_Dear Mr. Cullen,_

_Thank you for your email. You are extremely observant, I am avoiding you, although I can safely say that I don't have a professional work problem with you. My problem is purely personal and I don't think a discussing about it would be appropriate during work._

_I hope you understand._

_Sincerely Isabella Swan._

What the fuck? Two days ago we were gonna have sex on my desk, and today just _talking _about it is inappropriate.

_Dear Miss Swan,_

_Whilst I understand you need for personal space, here at Cullen Enterprises we value our selves on having an excellent employee/ employer relationship. I hope you know you can come and talk to me any time. _

_I would really like to discuss the issue that occurred on Monday with you, and also review our plans for this weekend._

_Sincerely Edward Cullen_

_C.E.O of Cullen Enterprises__._

Hitting send, my heart feels as though it's about it thud out of my chest.

_Why the fuck am I so nervous around this girl?_

As I wait for her reply, I try and attempt to do some work. Everything has been severely neglected since Monday, and I know that unless the situation becomes...I dunno, _fixed? _

That being said, I know that even if Bella and I fix whatever this relationship is, she'll never be off my mind. Work will always come second to that girl.


	8. Chapter 8

**Dear Miss Swan,**

**Chapter 8.**

_Dear Mr. Cullen,_

_Whilst I understand your need for a good working relationship, I feel like the relationship you desire is rather more sexual than professional, and I feel now is not the time to discuss such matters. _

_As for the issue that occurred on Monday, I would really like to just forget it ever happened. It was beyond mortifying, and as lovely as your mother seemed I don't think I'll ever be able to face her again. Which brings me onto the wedding. It was sweet of you to invite me, however I can't escape the feeling that you only invited me because your mother wanted you to. I completely understand the reasons as to why you wouldn't want me there, it's not as if we're dating or anything. _

_So I'm giving you a free pass, no hard feelings at all, to back out of inviting me. If you wish, you may tell your mother that I was unable to come due to another commitment._

_Sincerely Isabella Swan._

What the hell is that? I mean...I can see why she would think that I only invited her because of my mom, but _come on! _Have I not been pestering her for weeks trying to get her to go out with me?

_Dear Miss Swan,_

_Whilst I understand _your _concerns, I can assure you that, the invitation may have been brought about by my mother, but the offer is still standing because I truly want you there, by my side. As I am sure you are aware, I have been inviting you to join me for dinner on more than one occasion and I still would like that opportunity to be in your company. _

_As for being embarrassed with my mother, I can assure you that she will not mention it, and it will be like the matter never happened._

_I would please like you to come to my office 3pm,so we can discuss this further and more personally then via email._

_Senselessly Edward Cullen_

_C.E.O of Cullen Enterprises._

She never replied to my email, and I was waiting on tender hooks as the time slowly approached 3pm.

3pm on the dot, there was a knock on my door.

"come in" She opened the door slowly, her eyes downcast. I couldn't help but notice she was dressed less casual than before. She wore black slacks, a plain peasant blouse, with black flats. Not that she didn't look gorgeous, it was just a huge jump from the dress she donned on Monday.

"you wanted to see me, Mr. Cullen?"

"Bella, come on. We were fooling around on my desk a few days ago, I think we can drop the formality now" I said, whilst I gestured for her to take a seat.

_Preferably on my lap._

She sat (on a chair) and sighed "Edward, I'm sorry I was avoiding you"

"I just don't understand why Bella. I was as embarrassed as you, in fact more so, as it was _my _mother"

she sighed again, this time longer and more dramatically "it wasn't so much that we were walked in on...it was the fact that I've never _ever _done anything like that before. And the _one _time I decided to just...I dunno, let loose, we end up..." she gestures her hand in a circular movement, clearly not wanting to continue what she was saying.

Not that she needed to, I understood.

"okay" I huff "Here's what we're gonna do..."

**a/n: want more...review! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Dear Miss Swan.**

"_okay" I huff "Here's what we're gonna do..."_ I start.

"what? No, we're not gonna do anything"

I ignore her comment "we're gonna go to the wedding-"

"_no!_"

"-and if you still find it uncomfortable and you want nothing to do with me, then I'll accept that"

"Edward, _please, _I really don't think I can do it!" her eyes were begging with me, but I wasn't going to let her slip through me fingers.

"Bella, don't even pretend that you don't feel the same way that I do. How can you want to just throw away something that has such amazing potential? Please Bella...just, _please_! Please come to the wedding with me"

with a defeated sigh, she whispers "fine" before adding "but I reserve the right to leave any time I want!"

I smirk.

_She's too cute._

Standing, I make my way around the desk towards where she's sat, grabbing her hand I pull her to her feet and hug her tightly to me. It takes her a few seconds before she sinks into me. Her whole body relaxed into mine.

"thank you Bella" I whisper, before dropping a kiss on her hair.

"don't thank me yet. I may run out of you"

I chuckle into her brown locks "I thought only the bride had a flight risk on her"

"yeah well, you'll have two flight risks to worry about" and fuck me if I don't feel her pressing kisses onto my chest.

"nah, Rosalie will never skip out of this wedding...so my loads lessened already"

she giggles and all feels..._right_.

"ugh" she groans after a moment of silence.

"what's wrong?" her hair smells like strawberries and is so soft I have wiggle my nose because it tickles.

"I'm gonna have to go face all our colleagues _again. _Why do I have the feeling they all have their ears pressed against the door?"

"they won't if they value their job" I mutter, making her laugh again.

"Okay...I really should go, before they really do think we're..._canoodling_" that I had to laugh at.

_Who says stuff like that?_

"I'll pick you up 10am Saturday"

"okay...call me later?" her hand hovers over the door knob as she turns to look at me.

"most defiantly"

**a/n: more? Then review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dear Miss Swan.**

_Saturday 9.58am._

I've been sat outside Bella Swan's house since 9.45am. I didn't wanna be late picking her up, so I left home earlier than I normally would, only now I'm _too_ early.

Bella lives on...well, not the nicest neighbourhood hoods. A couple houses down from hers, there's a house with boarded up windows and the door knocker hanging off. Another house has overgrown weeds and chipped paint off the windows.

_Bella can't live here. She's too _delicate _to live on a street like this._

Tugging on my hair, I realise my dilemma.

I can either call her and check this is the right address, and run the risk of upsetting her by not believing she lives here.

Or I can go knock on the door and run the risk of some brute answering and beating the shit out of me for waking him from his lie in.

_problems, problems. _

Sighing, I know my decision.

_Maybe if I do get beaten up, she could be my nurse_

Now there's an intriguing idea, I think as I knock on the door.

"hey" she breaths as her door opens.

_How on earth does someone like her live _here?

"you look...unbelievably beautiful" I say before giving her a chaste kiss.

"thank you" she blushes "I wasn't sure if this was too casual for a wedding?" she says as she picks at the invisible bits on her blue dress.

She's an absolute vision, her royal blue dress travels to her knees where her stunning legs are on display, the strapless dress shows her creamy skin and perfect collarbone.

_Is there such a thing as a perfect collarbone? If there is, hers most defiantly is it._

There's nothing casual about that dress...mind you, I am a man. What do I know about fancy dresses and casual dresses?

Dresses are dresses to me.

"you look absolutely perfect." I kiss her again, because...well because I can. "you ready to go?"

after a big sigh, she gives me a slight smile "as ready as I'll ever be"

**a/n: hmm? What's going on with Bella's street? **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/n: aww, I love all my beautiful reviewers! You made my day, you really did!.**

**Dear Miss Swan**

"Bella...can I ask you something?" we're driving towards the church, in my car. She looks gorgeous just...being her.

_Gorgeous._

"sure" I can see from the corner of my eye, her shoulders shrugging. Her eyes, however, are cast out the window, as we drive towards Port Angeles.

"I'm worried you'll be mad...or upset" I hedge.

"just ask, and maybe I'll answer" I can hear the smile in her voice, and pray it's still present after I ask my question.

"okay, I was just wondering...well the thing is...what I mean is-"

"-just spit it out Edward" she laughing now, god I hope she keeps this light spirit.

_I can't _not _ask though. I won't be able to sleep not knowing...worrying about her._

"I just want to know why you live where you live?" I finally manage.

The pregnant pause seems to go on forever. I cast her a glance, and see her eyes downcast into her lap.

_Shit! What have I done?_

"Edward-" she begins. There's another large pause before she starts up again "it's really naïve of you to think that everyone lives like you-"

"-woah! That's not what I meant!" I try to defend myself.

"-but we're not all born with a silver spoon in our mouths. Some of us have struggled to get by pretty much since birth and some of us have to spend more than half of our pay check on their mother's hospital bills. So I'm sorry if my diamonds aren't as shiny as yours!"

"Bella! Please that's not what I was saying. All I was wondering was...well, it can't be the safest place to live in"

_man, I've fucked this up._

"well it's all I can afford right now." she whispers before we drop into silence.

The whole ride is spent in silence. I keep trying to catch her eye, but she won't even look at me, and I feel like shit.

Pulling up outside church, I see her hand reach for the door.

"Wait Bella. Please, I'm so sorry if I crossed a line and upset you. It's just...well I want you to be safe, and-" I huff "I dunno, I was just worried about you"

"I wasn't upset that you asked. I was upset because I'm so embarrassed about where I live. I never give me address because I don't want people to know how I live"

"well...I couldn't be more in awe of you. Paying your mother's hospital bills. And although I wish you were in a safer place...I know I would do the exact same thing, had it been my mother"

"my mom" she whispers, her eyes begin glistening with un-shed tears "my mom has..." she trails off, shaking her head slightly before changing the topic "let's forget about it? We have a wedding to attend"

she smiles but it's not a Bella smile.

I won't rest till I get a Bella smile.

**a/n: hmm...things are getting curiouser and curiouser**

**please review! **


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n: I really can't thank my reviewers enough! This is all for you.**

**I'm so sorry I only updated once yesterday, it was kinda a crazy day!**

**Dear Miss Swan.**

The wedding ceremony is...well, dull as fuck.

_Hey, what do you want from me, I'm a man!_

I spent most of the time watching Bella's face. The way a smile drew on her face as Emmett recited _the _most inappropriate vows ever. The way her tears overflowed as the rings were exchanged. The way her face lit up as the couple kissed.

She'd curled her hair into ringlets, so when I wasn't watching her beautiful face I was playing with her silky tendrils. Making them coil and uncoil in my fingers.

Once Emmett and Rosalie were making their way down the aisle, _we_, being the family, then followed.

Bella's hand was rested on my arm, as we followed my mother and father.

"you should really be disgusted in yourself" I whisper to her.

"what? Why?" her eyes wide in her alarm.

"it's totally inappropriate to be more beautiful than the bride" I answer.

"oh...shut up" she giggles, but her blush tells me she wants me to do anything _but_ shut up.

"really Bella" I shake my head in mock sadness "you couldn't give her this _one _day to be the most beautiful woman in the place?"

"Edward" she hisses in warning, but she's still smiling. She's loving my attention, just as much as I'm loving giving it to her.

"but I suppose when one is so naturally breathtaking it's hard to tone it down?"

"you would know!" she replies, and I can't help but chuckled at that.

Ignoring her comment, I continue "Is that what you tried to do Bella? Tried to make yourself less stunning, because if so I must say you failed miserably"

she ignores me now. Her smirks still in place, but she's not going to reply. When we get outside, Em and Rose are thanking everyone for coming.

For some fucked up reason they're doing that, then we're all going to the reception at some five star hotel.

"hello dears" Bella tenses as my mother and father approach. "it was such a beautiful wedding, don't you agree Bella?"

"yes, it was lovely, I've never head such..._graphic _vows" she lets a little giggle out, but it's deafened by my mother's loud pearls of laughter.

"oh I know! I can only imagine how mortified Rosalie was!" Bella's body seems to relax once she sees that my mother really isn't going to bring up the..._incident._

"Bella...this is my dad, Carlisle" I introduce them, as he stands slightly a back, not wanting to interrupt the women's gossip, I'm sure.

"It's lovely to meet you" Bella says, as she holds out her hand.

"Likewise" he replied, shaking her outstretched hand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Dear Miss Swan.**

We make our way towards the hotel not long after. I was pretty mortified as my mother started to tell Bella baby stories about me, and when she got to the potty training stories, I dragged Bella away.

Once the long ass speeches are over, and the cakes cut, I finally get to hold her on the dance floor. Swaying her around, her laughter fills my ears, as neither of us can dance well.

I'm better than her...but not by much.

After a few songs, Emmett grabs the microphone.

"Okay, I'm sick of all this boring shit! Let's crank up the tunes!" and then upbeat dance music starts to play. This seriously is a fucked up wedding.

I've never seen a bride and groom grinding on the dance floor...whilst she's in her white dress. It just seems wrong.

_But it's so Emmett and Rose._

"well if you can't beat 'em" I whisper in her ear. Her arms lock around my neck, and mine gravitate towards her hips.

She's frenzied as she pushes her hips into mine. Her hands tug my hair roughly before she crashes her lips onto mine.

_Damn, I love it when she's demanding._

My tongue's in her mouth, massaging hers.

It's not long before I'm...practically dry humping her on the dance floor.

"shit!" I moan as her hand starts rubbing me, right..._there._

"Edward" she breaths, the need in her voice obvious. "I need you _now_!"

untangling myself from her, I look into her lust filled eyes. "I'm gonna go book us a fucking room!"

**a/n: more?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Dear Miss Swan.**

Bella nods frantically, and it's obvious that she's as desperate as I am.

"I'll go grab my purse" she starts to leave, but my hand grabs her wrist pulling her back to my chest, before my lips collide against hers.

It's frantic and fast. And needy and desperate. Cupping her face I pull back.

"you go get your purse and I'll get a room, I'll meet you back here" with a nod, she's off and I'm just as fast as I sprint towards the reception.

"hello sir, welcome to The Hollywell Hotel, do you have a reservation?" the receptionist asks. She's wearing a tight fitted red suit, her hair bright red and piled high on her head. Her violet eye shadow clashes disgustingly with her clothes. But I can't even find myself bothered.

_I just need a fucking room._

"No, no. I'm sorry. My name is Edward Cullen, and I need a room. Any room I don't care" I rush out.

"I'm sorry sir, we're fully booked" she shakes her head.

"what? The whole hotel is booked. Are you joking?" I hiss.

"I'm sorry sir, we have no rooms available." she's getting angry now too, but this is unacceptable.

"you haven't even checked on the computer!" I yell

"sir please don't use that tone with me, or you will be escorted off the premises"

"your right, your right!" I backtrack "I'm sorry, but will you please check!"

she huffs, before concentrating on her computer. She's taking forever and I can't help but sigh loudly. Her eyes dart up to me, she clicks her tongue before saying "sorry sir, all rooms are still booked"

"how can they all be booked!" I demand.

"we have two weddings and a pharmaceutical convention, I'm very sorry sir"

"not as sorry as I am" I mutter before going back towards the party.

My eyes meet hers. Hers eager and excited.

I know what I have to do!

And sure I feel like shit doing it, but I can't let this opportunity drift away.

**a/n: one more tonight?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Dear Miss Swan.**

Rushing towards her, I grab her hand. She releases a light giggle, before she realises I'm pulling her further into the room than away.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she asks as I begin towing her towards the abandoned tables.

All the guests are either on the dance floor or propping up the bar.

"there were no rooms" I explain as I walk us towards the bride and groom's table.

"oh" she sighs "I'll guess we'll just have to wait till we get home" her voice is laced in disappointment.

"Like fuck we will" I mumble, as I begin looking for the discarded jacket that I need.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she's whispering, and it's beginning to feel like we're committing a crime.

I smirk "I'm solving our problem"

"Edward I-"

"ah-ha!" I cut her off, as I reach into the pocket and bring out the key.

"we can't use that! It's someone's room!"

"so? They'll never know"

"how did you know there was a key in there, anyway?" her eyebrow's raised, and it's so _sexy_.

"why would they have the reception here, if they weren't going to book the honeymoon suite" I shrug as I grab her hand and pull her out.

"the honeymoo..." she trailed off with a gasp "no way Edward! We are not having sex in their honeymoon suite!" she starts pulling backwards, digging her heels in.

"look at them" my hand gestures across the room towards the newly weds, who were still grinding having a ball "they're having too much fun! They won't want that room for hours! And we'll clean and tidy it before we leave, I promise"

"Edward" she grits "they look like they're gonna want that room pretty soon, either that or they're gonna go at it on the dance floor"

"I've known Em and Rose since we were kids. They're like this every time we're at a club. This'll go on for hours yet and besides, there's no way Rose will leave this wedding party early. It's all she's planned for almost two years"

she's tempted. So so tempted.

...and then she gives in to the desire. Both hers and mine.


	16. Chapter 16

**Dear Miss Swan.**

Before I know what I'm doing, Bella and I are clasped palm to palm, as I begin to pull her towards the elevator. Neither of us care as we literally sprint to our destination and become on the receiving end of a lot of strange looks.

My blood is thumping through my veins, thudding in my ears, as I continuously press the elevator button.

_Hoping beyond hope it'll make it come faster._

It takes an eternity, and as soon as the doors are _somewhat _open, my lips are on hers, as I hold her by the hips and push her backwards until her back hits the wall.

Breaking away for a second, my finger rams into the '15' button on the panel, before crushing myself back to her.

My wandering hands can't seem to take it slow, as they go straight to her ass. She releases a loud moan into my mouth, as I grind my throbbing member into her heat.

"Jesus" I groan, my lips attacking her neck. Biting, sucking, nibbling and licking.

_This is gonna leave one hell of a hickey_

Frustrated I can't _feel _enough, my hands wander to her thigh. I spend a moment massaging them, before lifting her, so she can wrap her legs around my waist.

"oh fuck!" her moans are getting louder and louder, and with them I'm getting impossibly harder and harder.

One of my hands returns to her delicious ass, but the other becomes more adventurous, travelling up her dress. Gliding up her stomach, the tips of my fingers begin slipping under her bra, when...

"excuse me dears, but I think this is your floor?" my eyes bugging out of my head, I rip my lips off hers and whip my head towards the voice.

Stood on the opposite side of the elevator is a little old lady, walking frame firmly propping her up. Panic starts welling up inside me, what if Bella doesn't want to continue now. Letting her legs drop, I finally look into her face and for her to...

let out the biggest fucking belly laugh, I've ever heard. The relief filling me, makes me giddy and I can't help but join in her hysterical laughter.

Before the doors can close on us, we're running out the door, hand in hand, our desperation extremely visible, especially mine.

Fumbling with the door key, I just can't seem to fucking open the door.

Finally after a small click, to door opens.

And Bella's soon to become mine.


	17. Chapter 17

**Dear Miss Swan.**

As soon as we're in the room, I have her pressed up against the door, my hands desperately searching for the zip of her dress.

"damn it! Where the fuck is it!" I growl.

She releases a giggles before lifting her left arm up, relieving a small almost invisible zip.

"why the hell is it there?" I mumble to myself as I pull the tag down.

_Now what? It's still not off._

Seeing my confusing, she laughs again, before pulling her dress over her head and letting it drop to the floor.

My eyes journey from her discarded dress, up to her black heels, up the milky skin of her legs.

"Jesus Christ!" I groan, as I take in her clothing...or lack thereof. She's stood there in the smallest pair of panties I've ever fucking seen.

_And that's all!_

Bare tits on display. I'm fucking hypnotised as her heavy breathing makes them move.

"your wearing way to much clothes" she closes the small gap between us, before she pushes my jacket off my shoulders. Her lips are attacking the skin on my chin as her hands undo the buttons on my shirt.

"Oh fuck it!" I yell before ripping the few buttons left on my shirt, and dumping it on the ground. Her hands are frantically undoing my belt before I feel her tugging my pants down my legs.

I toe my shoes off, before kicking my pants off. A moment doesn't even pass before her hands have wandered into my boxers.

"oh fuck!" slips my lips as she begins stroking me at a unnaturally slow pace.

"let's go to the bedroom?" her hand leave my cock, as she starts walking away.

_Fucking tease!_

Following that tight ass, my eyes are fucking hypnotised, yet again!

_Look at them jiggle._

_And the way her hips swing!_

I follow her through the door, and we both stop abruptly. The bed is covered in rose petals and unlit candles are on every surface, waiting for the bride and groom.

What are we doing?

We can't have sex in here.

"we can't have sex in here, Bella" I shake my head, my eyes boring into here's "I'd feel better if we did it on the couch...you know, more respect for the couple"

with a nod of agreement, we're soon attacking each other again.

**a/n: LMAO! Who thought they were gonna stop?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Dear Miss Swan**

my lips hungrily devour hers, as I manoeuvre us both towards the couch. My hands are in their favourite place, _her ass_, and hers are buried in my hair, tugging and twisting.

Gasping for breath, my lips leave hers as they make journey towards her neck, never losing contact. When we're at the couch, I push her down and cover her body with my own.

"Oh fuck" she moans, as one of my hands finds her breast, with a perfectly puckered nipple. I twist and pinch, making her squirm, and rub her heat against my erection.

"Jesus, you better stop, else I'm not gonna last!" I grin, unintentionally I begin rubbing myself into her harder. Slopping kisses covering her neck, I known it ain't gonna be long.

"I can't!" she yells, her eyes rolling back "just fuck me!"

"b-but what about-" I start, but her legs wrapping around my waist, causes my mind to wander and my hips to buck violently.

"I don't fucking care about fore-play! I'm ready now!" She's aggressive and domineering, as she tugs my boxers down.

_Fuck, I love a woman who knows what she wants._

**a/n: more?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Dear Miss Swan**

As soon as my boxers hit the floor, I ripped her panties off her.

"Edward!" she scolded "I need them!"

"Shit, I'm sorry" I apologized "I guess I'm a little erm...eager" I say, giving her a sheepish expression.

"oh, who the fuck cares?" she mutters before tugging my mouth back to hers. Tongue massaging tongue.

"now! Now Edward!" she moans into my mouth.

_Well if that ain't my cue, I don't know what is._

Lining myself up, I make sure to rub the head of my cock against her bundle of nerves.

"oh shit!" she screams as I groan into her neck.

"this isn't gonna be long, baby"

"just hurry the fuck up, I need you in me, now!"

she gasps as the head of my cock enters her.

"stop fucking around Edward" her hips bucking wildly, trying to take me in deeper "just fuck me!"

with that, I grab her hips, sit back on my knees and slam myself into her.

"_fuck!_" I yell, and I have to grit my teeth to stop cumming at the very moment.

_She's perfect._

_Tight._

_Hot._

_Wet._

_Jesus!_

"oh god! You're so fucking big!"

"god, Bella...I can't...I'm gonna..." my hand travels to her clit, as I rub it furiously.

"yes! Yes!" she moans in sync with my thrusts.

"Bella...cum now! Baby you need to cum now!" I growled as I pinched her clit hard.

"_fuck_!...Edward!" she screamed as her whole body stiffened, and her body tightened around me. Her orgasm triggered my own.

"Bella" I yelled, pumping hard and fast. My vision failed, and all I could see was coloured spots, as ecstasy took over me.

Completely sated I fall on top of her, probably crushing her with my weight. I tried to move, but her legs tightened around my waist and her arms wrapped around me too.

She wants me to stay.

So I ain't moving.

**a/n: I'm really nervous! What did you think?**


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n: so sorry I never updated yesterday, it was a hectic day and I was just so tired :p**

**Dear Miss Swan**

"oh my-" she whispers. I'm still on top of her. She's still holding me to her...I'm still inside her.

"you've killed me" my voice rasps, as I press wet kisses on her neck. She giggles as I kiss her...and her pussy _squeezes_ me.

"oh fuckkkk!" I yell, my lips travelling down the valley of her breasts, where I nuzzle.

_I need more!_

_Once just isn't enough._

"Edward!" she moans, her back arching, pushing her tits further into my face. Her hips begin grinding against mine, trying to create some friction, I'm sure.

"are you ready for more, baby?" I whisper into her skin, my lips my sicking on her hard nipple.

"mmm..." she groans.

"no?" my hips swivel, making her buck.

"yes!" she yells.

Not being able to stand it any more, I pull out ready to slam into her when...

_knock, knock, knock!_

"what the fucks that?" I ask no one in particular.

"_Mister Cullen! Mister Cullen?"_

"Edward, who is that? No one's meant to know we're here" She whisper-yells as she sits up.

"maybe they'll go away" I whisper, but I pull on my boxers and hand her my button down shirt.

_You know, just in case... no one's getting a peak at that body but me!_

"_Mister Cullen, I know your in there, we saw you arrive!_"

"what the fuck!"

"Edward they know we're here, your gonna have to go send them away" she says sternly

I huff "fine"

I don't give a shit about opening the door in just my boxers. I am, however, a tad bit embarrassed they are tented boxers.

"what?" I demand, as I swing the door open and reveal a small man with large glasses on his pointy nose, his black hair gelled straight back, an red neck chief around his neck and a blue suite on.

Behind him is a young blond woman stands, face void of make-up, hair tied back and white scrubs on.

"My names Michel Newton and this is Lauren Mallory. We're here for your appointment?"

"huh?" I ask, my nose crinkled in annoyance and confusion.

"your massages?" the woman said.

"what?"

"you asked us to watch for you coming to your room, and for you and your bride to have massages when you come up" she continues.

_Shit! They think I'm Emmett._

"we gave you a few minutes alone though" the guy gives me a suggestive winked at me, eyeing my boxers.

_Well, there goes the erection._

"erm..." I hesitate. I can't exactly tell them to come back later...to different people.

"no thanks" I shrug "we're erm...busy"

"But Mister Cullen, you've already paid!" the guy complains.

"I have?" I ask, who the hell books a massage on their wedding night? "oh, I have" I say with a nod. "well...I guess you better come in then" Bella will like it. May as well get a free massage since it's...you know, it's free.

I try not to think about the fact Em and Rose will know _someone's _been up here, and taking their massage. And I'm sure my absence hasn't gone unnoticed, so it won't be difficult for them to make that connection.

_Oh well...I don't give a shit!_

"hey Baby!" I yell "got a surprise for ya"

**a/n: hmm...review? **


	21. Chapter 21

**a/n: you wanted more?**

**Dear Miss Swan**

"_hey Baby" I yell "got a surprise for ya"_

"who was it Edward?" she yells as she makes her way to where I'm stood. She lets out a squeal as our new visitors can see her in nothing but my shirt.

_'cos I ripped her panties._

"Edward, what's going on?" she crosses her arms over her breasts because...well my white shirt may be a little see-through.

"this is...oh! I'm sorry I've forgotten your names" I wasn't exactly paying attention when they introduced themselves earlier.

"I'm Michael Newton and this is my trainee Lauren Mallory. We're here to give you your massages"

"erm...what?" she asks, again

"I must say Mr Cullen, your bride is lovely" he gushed. Bella's eyes widened at the title, but I just saw red.

"watch it buddy" I warned.

"oh please. If there's anyone he wants to sleep with in this room, it ain't the two with vaginas!" blondie rolled her eyes, whilst Michael winked at me.

"right" I rubbed the back of my neck.

"what's going on?" Bella demands.

"erm...well _apparently _we booked massages for when we got to our room, and we told them to watch out for us coming up, and yeah" I shrug.

"we did give you a few minutes of _alone _time though" Michael give a rather girlish giggle. "but we do have another couple to massage so let's crack on shall we." he claps his hands and he and Lauren go back outside to retrieve the massage tables.

They set the tables up, side by side, and tell us to climb on. Michael ended up massaging Bella and I was a lot more comfortable knowing he wasn't getting some kinda sick kick out of it.

"so when did you meet?" he asks, trying to fill the awkward silence.

_About four months ago _

"about two years ago" I lied, smirking as Bella let out a giggled. She reached across and grabbed my hand. Our interlaced hands dangled between the two beds.

"aw" he cooed "and how did you meet?"

"erm...well I'm her boss" I start.

"mmm! that's hot!" he moans.

_And I'm extremely uncomfortable again._

"and erm...it was more friends with benefits at first" Bella's eyes met mine and then the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them "but feeling we're involved really quickly, and I knew I wanted more"

"and I felt the same way" she whispered.

**a/n: aww! Review!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/n: last one before I go to bed. It's bedtime over here in England. ;)**

**Dear Miss Swan.**

I can't keep my eyes off her. She can't look away from me either. Granted we were talking about a hypothetical situation, but it feels more than real.

"aww" Michael coos, again "your so in love, it's almost disgusting" he laughs.

Bella's face looks as though it's about to catch fire.

"eugh!" Lauren huffs "I so want to get married"

"you'll have to find the right girl first" Mike answers her.

She sighs "I know, I'm just saying that they're lucky to find love. Some of us have to go through shitty relationship after shitty relationship"

"hmm...I agree" Michael hummed "but it'd go through it all to be in as much love as they are"

Bella and I keep eye contact through their whole conversation. Her face is unreadable, but I'm sure mines the same

silence takes over the room, as they continue our massages. Bella and I never lose eye contact, or drop the others hand.

That's our constant connection.

They leave after half an hour. Bella's still in my shirt and me in my boxers. I can't resist leaning down and kissing her. It isn't like the kisses we'd previously shared. It's slow and intense, and we both know this ain't gonna lead to sex...even if we both want it to.

There's no way we're gonna be able to before Em and Rose get up here.

Breaking the kiss, I brush her hair away from her face "we really need to go" I whisper.

"yeah...I'm sure people have noticed we're missing" she smiles, her cheeks blushing red.

"let's go hunt for our clothes" I laugh, as we follow the trail of disguised clothes from the doorway towards the living room, where we had sex.

It's then I notice it. In the middle of the large beige couch, is a large wet spot.

"oh fuck!" I hiss eyeing the mess.

"what?" Bella asks, as she fixes her dress over her head. When I don't reply, she walks over to where I'm stood.

"oh my god!" she yells "it that..." she trails off.

"cum Bella. It's cum" I sigh. God Rose and Em are gonna kill me

"oh shit Edward! What are we gonna do?" she seems to be having a panic attach, so I hug her to me, rubbing her back gently.

"okay we're gonna-" my sentence is interrupted by the door opening "_hide!_" I whisper yell, as I drag her around the back of the couch.

"_I told you Rose, I don't know where my key went." Emmett's voice drifts into the air._

"_well your lucky reception had a spare, and you better find it soon, or we'll be paying for a replacement"_

"Edward" Bella's voice is so quiet I almost didn't hear in. I don't say a word, just turn to look at her "please tell me you have my panties?"

my eyes widen, as I check my pants pocket, hoping beyond hope I stole then.

_Shit, nothing._

"you ripped them off me at the front-"

"_WHO'S THE FUCK ARE THESE!"_

"I think she found your panties" Is all I can say.

**a/n: so...who saw it coming? **

**Review and I'll love you always! ;)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Dear Miss Swan**

"oh fuck!" Bella hisses, "what are we gonna do"

I open my mouth to speak, but two pairs of footsteps getting closer and closer, make me close it again.

"_I'm gonna have to complain!" _Rosalie's fuming, and Bella throws me a glare as I can't keep the smirk off my face.

_Oh come on! It's a little funny._

"_Rose, please don't cause a scene...I'm sure it's just a mistake with the cleaners. Just put them in the trash, and let's have a good time...we just got married, Baby"_ Emmett's trying to calm her down, but even I know she ain't gonna let this go.

Their footsteps and voices are getting louder and louder and I know their in the room, when hear Rose's fury pitch perfect.

"_don't cause a scene? Don't cause a scene! Some random woman's panties are in _our honeymoon suite _and you think I'm just gonna...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!"_

As her scream rings out, Bella's panties come sailing over the couch, and land on my head. Bella smashes her hands over her mouth, to stop her laughter ringing out, but the skin on skin contact makes a loud slapping noise, and we both freeze, praying no one heard.

"_Emmett, what is that _huge _stain on the couch?" _Rose shrieks.

Ripping the panties off my head, I send her a smirk as I pocket them.

"_Babe, I'm sure someone just spilt a drink or something"_

"_THAT is not a drink! That's someone's cum, Emmett. It's cum! The whole room reeks of sex, there's panties on the floor and a cum stain on the couch. Someone's been in our room! My wedding is ruined!"_ Rosalie cries, and I can feel my laughter bubbling in my mouth, threatening to pop out.

Her sobs stop after a few seconds. _"I'm going to the reception to complain. You coming?"_

"_Yeah" _he sighs. As they footsteps get further and further away, I turn to Bella.

"you ready to make a break for it?" I whisper.


	24. Chapter 24

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: hi all! Sorry it's been so long, I've had no internet for over a week, hence why I couldn't update. Let's get on with it...**

**Chapter 24.**

_"you ready to make a break for it?" I whisper._

She gives me a small nod, and holding hands we do quick jog across the room. And as though we're living in a bad spy film, we even do this strange crouched run.

When we get to the door, I open it just enough to stick my head out. Looking left the hallway vacant. Right, I see Em and Rose waiting at the elevator, their backs to us.

We have two options.

1 – make a run for the stairs, hoping they don't hear out footsteps and turn.

2 – wait till they're in the elevator and then run for it, risking the Emmett could convince Rosalie to come back to the room for whatever reason.

_Hmm..._

although option two seems more sensible, I really don't wanna risk them coming back to the room.

So we're gonna have to run for it.

Turning round, I face my stunned looking beauty.

"okay, they're at the elevator, we're gonna make a run for it. So be quiet"

"whoa, whoa, whoa" she pulls back on my hand to stop me pulling her along. "they're gonna see us. Let's stay till they've gone"

"we can't. I can practically hear Emmett, trying to convince her to come back to the room" I whined, like a child.

_Seriously, my bottom lip is out there._

"Edward! No!" Bella scolds. "we're waiting! This isn't some stupid spy movie! We've ruined their wedding..."

_shit...are we on the same wavelength or what?_

"aww, baby!" I swoop down for a kiss. 'cos ya know, we're all in sync and everything.

"what's that for?"

I shrug "'cos you're awesome"

she shakes her head and rolls her eyes, but the smile tugging at her lips, tells me she likes it.

"okay, they've gone, let's go!"

**a/n: maybe review?**


	25. Chapter 25

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: no that's not it!**

**Chapter 25**

We're running down the hallway towards the stairwell as soon as the doors are shut.

Hand in hand.

She's a slow runner.

Never be an marathon runner.

Just saying.

"Edward, can we slow down a second" she's panting, and we've only just reached the stairs.

"Baby, I know your tired-" I start.

"tired?" I snaps "Edward, I'm 100% anti-exercise! This is more running than I've _ever _done!"

_well it certainly doesn't show, 'cos her body it something else!_

"Just a few more levels and then we can take it slow, okay?" I'm tugging on her hand, as she begins dragging her feet.

"no! Just two minutes!"

I sigh, this is gonna take forever...unless...

"okay" I sigh, as I stop running. I crotch down after turning my back on her "hop on"

"what?"

"Bella, we need to get moving. If we can get a few levels down we'll be home free. Even if we bump into someone, we can just say I rented us a room"

I hear her sigh, but otherwise, she's silent as she climbs on my back.

She weighs little to nothing, but after a few floors, what feels like nothing soon begins to feel like a fucking elephant.

_Not that I would say anything._

"think you could walk now?" I pant.

_Jesus, I didn't think I was this unfit._

"oh! Yeah sure" she jumps down, and we begin the walk down the rest of the stairs hand in hand.

As we reach the bottom of the stairs we both let out a relieved sigh.

_Fucking finally._

Peace however, doesn't last long. Because as soon as we enter the lobby, Rosalie's yells are ever present!

"I don't give a shit what your maid's telling you, someone's been in our room!"

"Miss, we'll get to the bottom of this, I swear."

"well make it fast! We have a massage booked in..._now!_"

"Massage?...But Michel's done for the day...erm, one second. Michel!" she yells and he soon comes bounding over.

Bella and I stand by the door to the stairwell, trying to look inconspicuous whilst eavesdropping.

"yes, how can I help?"

"you told us you were done for the day. You still have Mr and Mrs Cullen's appointment"

"no" he shook his head. Bile was rising up in my throat, because I knew what was coming. "I've done that appointment"

"no" Rosalie shakes her head "We've just left the party!"

"you're not the Cullen's" his eyes meet with mine, almost magnetically and I feel like dropping dead "THEY'RE Mr and Mrs. Cullen!" one of this long manicured fingers points at us.

_Oh fuck!_

**a/n: review maybe?**


	26. Chapter 26

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a.n: hey all! Just this from me today, sorry. I've got loads of work to do and applying for jobs and such and well...my writing has suffered. **

**Chapter 26**

_"you're not the Cullen's" his eyes meet with mine, almost magnetically and I feel like dropping dead "THEY'RE Mr and Mrs. Cullen!" one of this long manicured fingers points at us._

_Oh fuck!_

Rose looked almost possessed as she turned towards us. I was actually half expecting her head to turn full circle without her body moving. You know...demonized.

"YOU!" she screams, as she begins storming over to us. Grabbing Bella's arm I try and run towards...well, anywhere that I can. I'm not sure what my plan is, but my current goal is to keep my dick attached to my body, because hopefully Bella isn't done with it yet.

But she wouldn't let me pull her with me.

_Why doesn't she want to she want to save my dick. _

"Bella, _please!_" I plead, my eyes flickering from Bella's unmoving figure towards Rosalie's rapidly moving figure.

"no Edward, I think we should just apologise. We fucked in their wedding room, we need to deal with this"

_what! Deal with this? How 'bout with deal with this by running away and living in Mexico. _

"EDWARD CULLEN!" Roses screechey voice...well it screeches. "don't you _dare _move a muscle!"

"Shit, baby, they're gaining on us!" I panic, and for some fucked up reason she laughs.

_She laughs? _

_What the fuck is funny about this?_

"Bella!" I stress.

"Edward!" she mocks.

Giving her my pouty lip and pleading eyes does nothing, and I know I'm in deep shit when I feel a fist punch my arm.

_Fucking Rose, and her guns of steel. _

"ouch! Rose that fucking hurt!" as soon as the words leave my mouth, I _think _they're a wrong idea.

And when her face turned purple I _know_ it was defiantlythe wrong idea.

I sigh "okay look -"

"no!" she interrupts me "you look Edward! You go look at your _nasty _cum stain! And you go look at those skanky panties-"

"hey!" both Bella and I protest. I would have laughed at us answering simultaneously, had I not been fearing the life of my dick.

_But come on! They were sexy! Anything but skanky._

"oh hello" Rose's voice is sarcastically sweet as her glare focuses on Bella. "I'm assuming your the owner of said panties. Thanks _so _much for having sex in my honeymoon suite. It really wouldn't have been the same without a strangers panties in the room, so thanks for making my big day so _complete_. I'll deal with you after I deal with _this_ fucking oaf!"

_and now she's back to me._

_Oh joy!_

"Tell me Edward! Why?" she yells.

"erm...well, you see-"

"why!"

"because...well-"

"WHY!"

"BECAUSE THE UNIVERS DIDN'T WANT ME TO HAVE SEX WITH BELLA ANY OTHER PLACE!"

_shit! Did I really just yell that?_

**a/n: omg! I can't believe I stopped there..**


	27. Chapter 27

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 27**

"Are you fucking making fun of this situation, Cullen. Because I swear I am so close to clopping your dick off!" she screaming now, and my hands find themselves cupping myself protectively.

"no I'm being serious! The universe would only let us have sex in your room! Don't blame us!" I'm pleading now, and a crowd has been drawn, and a lot of them are laughing at me.

_They can shut the fuck up!_

"Edward-" Emmett starts, but the _dragon _cuts him off.

"-how dare you! Don't you even care that you've ruined my wedding night?"

"of course I care Rose. I'm really really sorry, and so is Bella"

_yeah, if I'm going down your coming along for the ride too, sweet cheeks. _

"erm..." Bella starts "I'm really really sorry. We'll pay for a new room" she offers

_I cringe._

"actually they have no rooms" I state.

"what?" Rose growls.

"they're all booked" I shrug.

"what? How can all the rooms be booked?" Emmett this time.

"they have two weddings and a pharmaceutical convention this weekend" I inform them, feeling like that fucking receptionist now.

"well" Bella starts again "we'll pay for the cleaners to clean it up, really really fast. And we'll get the Michael guy to-" Once again the fucking dragon can't let things go.

"and that's another thing!" screaming once again "how dare you! How fucking _dare _you, tell them your us! Just to get a free massage. You two are seriously sick! Edward your fucking billionaire you could have paid for one of those spa days with your spare change! I can't look at you right now!" she storms past us, with Emmett hot on her heels.

_Well you known you've fucked up pretty badly when Rose doesn't even want to rip your head off._

"well, we fucked up. Whilst fucking" I try to make light of the situation, but she doesn't even laugh.

"It wasn't even worth it" she mumbles.

"hey!" I'm offended.

"I'm sorry, it was great, it's just..."

"...what?"

"it wasn't very _long_"

"well...well...that was your fault!"

"huh? How's it my fault?"

"the fucking pictures! The almost office sex. I was all pent up. I needed release! Next time will be better, I swear!"

"hmm...is that a promise" she has a coy smirk on her face now, as her arms wrap around my neck.

Kissing her neck I respond "you can count on it"

"Better not keep me waiting then" her voice breaths into me ear, as she lets me go and starts walking towards the door.

_Oh Baby, I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go._

_And I can do nothing more than follow that perfect ass._

**a/n: yeah, can you guess what's coming up soon?**

**Review maybe?**


	28. Chapter 28

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: sorry, sorry, sorry! More internet problems. Yuck I hate it!**

**PLEASE READ! So I have exciting news. I have finally joined the twitter universe, with an account just for my fanfic world. I had it before but I didn't really get it and deleted my account. Anyway with all my current internet problems I figured if I got twitter at least if I'm unable to post I'll be able to tell you all and you won't think I've forgotten all about you. **

**I though that if I had twitter I'd be able to answer all your questions you ask that I always forget to reply to on fanfiction. AND you'll be able to nag me for more chapter and I'll be able to see them more and it'll give me a huge kick up the bottom to write. **

**I also thought that we could make a deal? You follow me and I'll follow you? But you'll have to let me know your from fanfic because I had a load of random followers that were from some...erm...questionable websites, that I don't want to follow, so just let me know that's your from here, and we'll have a good old chat. **

**So if your interested in hearing the random thoughts of a 18 year old brit kid, nag me about fanfic, gain a follower, and get some sneak peeks at upcoming chapters then please...**

**/#!/beth_violet**

**go follow NOW! Now I tells ya! Now! **

**Chapter 28.**

She's giggling as we literally run out of the hotel, and into the parking lot. She's probably laughing because I'm right behind her, trying to get a feel of that ass.

There's an old couple shaking there heads, just as I get a particularly hard squeeze to her firm butt, and I'm a little ashamed that I flip them off.

_Don't look at me like that! I'm drunk...drunk of luuuust!_

_Damn, I'm an asshole when I'm horney._

Were still running until we reach my car. She doesn't wait for me to get the door for her, she just jumps in, and I follow suit.

_But obviously not in the same side...'cos then I'd be sat _on top _of her...and I'm pretty sure that would just be wrong._

_Shut up, Edward!_

"where to, baby?" I ask, my foot revving the engine, and my eyebrows waggle with ever rev.

And she laughs.

Laughs?

That was meant to be sexy...not funny.

"yours" she says, and I don't question it...well maybe I do a bit.

"it's a thirty minute drive, ya know?"

_I seriously don't think I'm gonna last!_

"yeah I know" is all she says. She's looking out the window, and for some reason...the silence is a little awkward. I don't know what I've done, but the fun light mood has been dampened.

"so..." I say, elongating the word dramatically.

"so" is all she says,

"worst pick up line ever" is what pops out my mouth.

_What the fuck is that? This is suppose to be the time your driving her wild with your mad dirty talking skills...do we need to read 'sex for dummies'?_

"what?" yeah, I'm not surprised your shocked by that question, sweetheart. I'm really really not.

"worst pick up line?"

"erm...I dunno, Edward"

"okay, here's mine...'_hey baby, let's play army. I'll lie down and you can blow me up'_"

"ew! Edward" she laughs "please tell me you've never used that. And for the love of god, _please _tell me that's never worked!"

_well, at least she laughing now._

"nah, I've not used it. Hows it working for ya?"

"not so good" she laughs again, before leaning across and kissing my cheek. I'm not sure why she did it, but the air had shifted and we're back to that fun lightness.

"come on, Swan! Your turn!"

"hmm...okay, here' one someone _actually _used on me _'hey Baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?'_"

_now that's golden!_

Chuckling, our fingers soon find themselves wound together, "now I'm sure _that _worked"

"not so much...but the best one I've ever gotten was _'I've got the hot dog, and you've got the buns'_" She's laughing hysterically, me? Not so much.

"what! That's cleaver, witty and charming" I argued.

"You're only saying it, because it was your cheesy chat up line"

"it got you didn't it? Therefore it worked" I smirk, "hook, line and sinker" I take my hands off the wheel for a second to imitate reeling in a fishing line.

She laughs and shakes her head "yeah, well you're lucky your cute, 'cos anyone else would gotten a slap."

_that's my girl._

**a/n: so...review, maybe?**

**Over on twitter: /#!/beth_violet let me know your favourite/worst chat up line!**

**BUT DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: some of you have heard some AMAZINGLY funny chat up lines. My favourite has to be by LaPumuckl...'you know what they say: burning roof means wet cellar, may I find out' I was almost crying laughing at that one. **

**Keep 'em coming, I just love hearing them.**

**stupid me, the link to my twitter account didn't even work. So here it is again...**

**https :/ twitter (dot) com/#!/beth _ violet**

**you'll need to take out the spaces.**

**So now you can all go follow. Follow now! **

**After you read and review, obviously...**

**kinda just a silly chapter, a load of...me trying to be funny I suppose. **

**Chapter 29.**

the rest of the ride over to my house, is filled with the worst chat up lines we can possibly think of.

"hey Bella. Do you work for USP, because I saw you checking out my package"

"no! That'd never work on me. I lost my number, can I have yours?"

_Damn, I'm gonna remember that one. _

"hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" I waggle my eyebrows at her, my sexiest smirk in place.

There's a pregnant pause, before she responds "unfertilized" she giggles.

"wow, your a pro at rejection. I bet you break more hearts then you break wind" I laugh.

"ew! Edward! That's disgusting. I'm a lady, I don't break wind!"

"what?" I mean, what? "Ladies don't fart?"

"nope." she pops the 'p' "we're biologically incapable of _passing gas_"

that I have to laugh at. "oh really? Forget about that right now...just say 'fart'"

"no, Edward. That's word is horrible" I can see her visibly cringe at the _thought _of saying the word.

"say it"

"no"

"say _it_!"

"_no_!"

I notice my phone starts ringing, and I hook up my blue-tooth "Say it, say it!"

"no, no!"

"say it, say it, say it!" I shout, just before I press the 'answer call' button.

"FAAAARRRTTT! There, happy now?"

"_hello, Edward?"_ my mother's voice filters into my ear, and I'm unable to compress the huge belly laugh that escapes my lips.

"hi mom" I wheeze through my laughter. I'm actually considering pulling over, because my eyes are filling with tears.

"_erm..am I interrupting anything?"_

oh she defiantly heard. "no, of course not."

"_we were just wondering where you were?" _

"oh" I'm still laughing "Bella wasn't feeling too good"

"_yes, I heard. Tummy troubles?"_

Oh shit, I'm never gonna be able to stop laughing now.

"hang on, I'll ask her" I gasp, through my hysterical laughter "My mom wants to know if you've got tummy troubles?"

Bella's face burns brightly, and she gives me a swift punch in the arm, but it's not long before she's cracking up too.

_This is so typically us._

"Yeah, it's her stomach. I gotta go mom"

**a/n: lmao, I actually started laughing whilst writing. Just at the 'FAAAARRRTTT' bit. **

**Review maybe?**


	30. Chapter 30

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Twitter –https :/ twitter (dot) com /#!/beth _ violet **

**follow me. I'm not above begging. Lmao. **

**(just remove spaces)**

**this is a little more serious than before...**

**Chapter 30.**

We pull up to my house not long after I hang up on my mother. The drive is spent with me yelling 'FAAAARRRTTTT!' at any given opportunity, just to see her blush and tell me to 'shut the fuck up'.

Granted, I was a little surprised that Bella didn't go all...well Bella, and shy away from this embarrassing situation, but she's just laughing it off. Probably thinking that nothing can make her more embarrassed then the morning in my office, so all that's left to do is laugh.

"wow" she gasps, looking like a little kid in Toys "R" Us. "you live here?" I jump out of the car, walk towards her door and help her out.

"shhh" I hiss "just don't tell the owner we're here" that earned me a smack on my chest.

_Damn, she's freakishly strong._

"yes I live here" I chuckle. One of my arms wrap around her waist, as I guide her inside.

"wow" it's just a small whisper now, obviously not meant for my ears, but the awe in her voice is undeniable.

I've never seen my house as so awe-inspiring. Sure...it's larger than your normal home. Six bedrooms. Six bathrooms. Gym. Private pool. Library. Office. And then...the usual,like the kitchen and shit.

"this isn't a house Edward! It's a freaking mansion!"

I laugh "it's not quiet mansion worthy, but thank you" as I speak, I'm pulling her towards the living room and onto the plush couch to cuddle a little bit.

"it must be nice having all this money" that's all it takes for me to feel like utter shit.

How could I not think of how she would feel? She probably thinks I'm showing off all the money I have, and I can practically feel the self consciousness about where she lives now, rolling off of her.

"Bella" I whisper. The fun and light tone of the whole day has gone. "you said half your pay check goes to your mother's hospital bills. What did you mean?"

"Edward" she sighs, shaking her head "I really don't want to talk about it"

"please Bella. I like to think that this is...more than sex. I actually have feelings for you, and I know you have feelings for me too. I just want to be there for you. Please Bella. Let me be there"

there's a pregnant pause. It's only a few seconds but it feels like a lifetimes. Her eyes go glassy before they fill with unshed tears.

"my mom.." she crocks, before stopping and clearing her throat "my mom has terminal cancer. She's so ill that she needs 24/7 care. My dad past away when I was a kid, so he can't look after her. My nanna lives down in Florida, and she's too old and frail to travel. She can barely look after herself let alone my mom. I tried to be there to look after her, but I need to work to earn. So I..." she breaks off, sobbing loudly.

I pull her into my chest, and rub her back repeatedly. Just waiting till she can continue.

"...so I had to put her in this hospice. My nanna pays for half...or what she thinks is half. I may have told her the total is less than it actually is. So the lion share is down to me. And that's why I live like I do"

"Bella..."

"don't. Please, can we just be quiet for minute"

**a/n: hmm...so, thoughts?**

**Review maybe?**

**And follow me on twitter, please!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: come join me over on twitter. I'm a little more than addicted ;)**

**Twitter –https :/ twitter (dot) com /#!/beth _ violet **

**GO! follow now! Lol joking...but still ;)**

**Chapter 31**

I respect her wishes, and stay quiet. Rubbing her back gently, I allow her to sob into my shirt. She breaks my heart as she tells me, through her tears, about how little she's able to visit her mother. About how when she does visit, her mom is so hopped up on drugs she sometimes isn't even conscious, and the rare times she is, she's as high as a kite.

"Bella. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine, what you're going through" pressing kisses into her hair, is all I can do to offer some degree of comfort.

"yeah well...life sucks sometimes" she tried to laugh, but it came out all croaky.

"Bella..." I hesitated "erm..."

"what?"

"I want to help"

"oh Edward" she sighs, leaning up to kiss me gently "you are helping. Just being here is helping me" she says, before snuggling back into my chest.

_Damn, how do I say this and not be a dick?_

"no Bella...I meant that I want to help _financially_"

Her back goes ramrod straight, as she sits up.

"what?" I instantly hate the venom laced into that one word.

"it's just...well I can help. I have the means! I could make you and your mother more comfortable. I just want to help!"

"I'm not some sort of charity case!" she jumps off the sofa, and I follow after her.

"I'm not calling you a charity case. I'm trying to do something nice. To help _you_"

"what? The rich boy feels sorry for the lowly poor girl? I don't need your help! I'm fine, I'm handling things!"

_How dare she! How fucking dare she!_

"that's NOT what this is! And I'm actually really fucking hurt that you would suggest I wanted to help out of anything but the fact that I care for you!"

"guys like _you _don't care for girls like me" she whispers, tears streaming her face.

"what the fuck's that suppose to mean?" I snap. I'm really fucking angry.

"guys like you! Smart, good looking, rich, have the world at their feet. You have so much potential, and I don't. Your going places, and I'm stuck here. I'm _always _going to be stuck here. I have too many ties. You deserve someone who's going places too! That's why you can't help. I don't want you to resent me for tying you here. You deserve to live your life to the fullest, and I can't have you hate me!"

"that...that is the biggest load of bull shit I've ever heard. What the fuck was that? Bella, if your here, I'm here. That's just how it's going to be from now on. You say I have potential? Yeah, well so does this relationship. And I'll be fucked before I give this up! And that's why I have to help!"

"why though?" she whispers.

"because that's what boyfriends do!" I yell, feeling like banging my head on the wall.

"boyfriend?"

_oh!_

**a/n: yeah...review?**


	32. Chapter 32

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**a/n: I know it's been a few days, but I've had loads of uni work to do. so...here's an update ;)**

**remember...come join the fun over on twitter (remove spaces)**

**https :/ twitter (dot) com/#!/ beth _violet**

**Chapter 32.**

boyfriend?"

_oh!_

"well...yeah? Why not?"

"I've..." she breaths, shaking her head slightly "I've erm...well, I've never had a _boyfriend _before"

"what?" I mean...what? How could she not have? She's gorgeous! And funny. And smart.

"No guys ever-"

"-don't even finish that sentence" I interrupt.

"what? Why?"

"Because I know what you're going to say, and I know it's not true" I smirked, she sent me a glare, but the way her eyes gleamed...yeah, it was totally a playful glare.

"and _how _do you know it's not true?" one eyebrow raise...so, so sexy!

"because A. I'm a man, B. I have eyes and C. They have laid on you." I tell her.

_And that's not all that's been laid on her._

"did you just..." she begins. "that's not all that's been laid on me?"

_Shit! I guess that wasn't in my head._

"that has to be..." here is comes! The wrath "...the _worst _sexual innuendo I've ever heard!" annnnd...now she's laughing at me.

Feeling a little hurt I say "It was actually rather witty, I'll have you know"

"yeah...sure it was, baby"

_baby. That sends...girly tingles down my spine. _

_Where the hell are my balls?_

_I know I left them around here somewhere..._

"but back to the boyfriend thing..." she starts again, once her giggles die down...

_I'm glad I can amuse her so much_

"I've seriously never had one before"

"well...you must have had some kind of relationship at one point. Because...well you weren't a virgin when we met..." _oh shit! _"...right?"

she fucking laughs _again_. And I can only assume it's at my panic stricken face.

"stop panicking, I wasn't a virgin. It's good to know how observant you are though" she smirks "I've only been with one guy. And we...well I thought we were exclusive, but I guess he didn't...so I don't count him" she says with a firm nod.

"so he...he cheated on you?"

"well, if you want to get technical" she rolls her eyes.

"you don't seem very heartbroken" It was more of an observation than anything.

"at the time I _suppose _I was...but now I realised what an ass hole he was. So it's all good"

_huh._

"and then...well my times been filled with my mom and finishing school and then my mom and work... so I really haven't had much time" she shrugs.

"you weren't looking for a relationship with me through were you? That's why you kept turning me down when I asked you out"

"I just didn't see how I would be able to fit dates...or _fun _for that matter, around everything" she sighs "and then you steam-rolled into my life...and _ruined _that plan...with all your sexiness"

_well that kinda made me feel good. _

"my sexiness huh?" I smirked, stalking forward, wrapping my arms around her waist and attacking her neck with my lips. "well why don't we go and see what my sexiness can persuade you to do now"

she startles me slightly, when she jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist. "Let's go visit the bedroom..._boyfriend_"

annnnd...my smiles a mile wide.

My beautiful girlfriend.

Mine.

**a/n: well...it doesn't take a genious to see whats coming next, right?**

**Come follow me on twitter...and we'll talk ;) **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: I know it's been forever, but if you're reading my other story you'll know why. I've been quite sick and in hospital a lot, so I just haven't had time to write more than one story. buuuuut after re-reading this story I just couldn't leave it incomplete. I love these two! **

**So if you're with me I'd love it so much, if not I get it. Anyway drop me a review of your reading ;)**

**I'm bethviolet on twitter and bethviolet fanfic over on facebook. **

**PLEASE READ! If you are on this journey with me, this next chapter takes place a couple weeks after the last. THERE HAS BEEN A TIME JUMP ;) enjoy!**

**Dear Miss Swan. **

**Chapter 33**

**(Four weeks later)**

"I'm just saying that if we put it over there it'll make the room look so much bigger. Having the couch in the middle of the room just…well it takes up so much space" she begins trying to push the couch backwards.

"whoa, whoa, whoa!" I yell, standing in the way of her pushing "that couch has been strategically place there, just for game days! It's the prefect viewing place, Bella."

She sighs, and shakes her head as though _I'm _the child! She's the child! She's lived here two days and she's already changing shit! I could deal with the fru-fru in the bathroom, but moving this is waaaaaaay too much!

"Edward, when you asked me to move in with you, you said I could do anything I wanted with the house!"

Yeah, maybe I did say that, but she wouldn't move in with me. And I couldn't have her staying in that fucking neighbourhood any longer….besides; I missed her like fuck when she wasn't with me.

"and you can…anything but _this_" and I place my ass down on said furniture so she couldn't move it.

"Oh god Edward!" she moans, sadly it's in frustration. "I love you, but you're the biggest man child I've ever known!"

Yeah we've said those words…only a few days after we agreed we were in a committed relationship, and it still makes me feel all tingly and shit when she says it.

"and I love you, but you can be the biggest fun killed ever!" and she laughs at me.

"How the hell have you won 'Business man of the year' three years running? You're like a seven year on in a thirty year old man's body!"

"Hey!" I yell, glaring at her, from my spot on the unmoved sofa. "I'm twenty nine! You stupid twenty three year old" I mumble the last part, but she still heard, and laughs so much she falls on me. This leads to a very good thing!

**a/n: more soon. Review!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 34:**

"Are you almost ready?" she yells from downstairs. So impatient!

"Yeah!" I reply, but it's mumbled, 'cos I've got a shirt hanging from between my teeth. As I frantically finish packing. I'm so not ready.

"I know you're not. You forget how well I know you, Edward Cullen!" shit, I can hear her footsteps on the stairs. She's knows I'm not packed, but she doesn't know just how not packed I actually am. So I begin throwing shit in the case.

"Jesus Edward!" she rushes towards the suitcase "We're going for three days, not a year. And I assure you there's no sun, so why the hell you're packing speedo's I'll never know. In fact why the hell do you even have these?"

"They were meant to be a surprise for you" I snatch them out of her hands. They were actually a joke Christmas present I'd received last year, and I'd accidentally packed in my rush, but I couldn't admit to that.

"Well, all you'll need is jeans and shirts. We'll be with my mom most of the time, and she can't really go outside so…"

What the hell am I doing? I'm acting like an asshole minutes before we're due to leave to visit her extremely sick mother.

"You're right, I'll be sensible now" I pull all the crap out of the case, and fill it with the clothes and shit I'll need.

"What's wrong?" she hugs me from behind, pushing her boobs into me. _Ace!_

"Nothing baby, why?" converse! A must.

"You said you'd be sensible, you're never sensible. Where's my man child?"

"Very funny Isabella Swan, Miss 'I'm always so mature'. I know for a _fact_ that it was you that tied all my shoe laces together last week. I mean, who else could it have been?"

"That was revenge for when you stole all my underwear. Seriously Edward, I had to go to work commando. Do you know how uncomfortable that was?"

"Almost as uncomfortable as it was when you spilt coffee in my lap!"

"That was an accident, I tripped. And if I remember correctly, I made it for it."

"You burnt my balls!" I yelled. And I'll be damn if she doesn't fucking laugh at me again.

"Oh Edward, I really love you"

_D'aww baby._

**a/n: more in about an hour or so **** review please!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 35**

**a/n: I own nothing mention in this chapter or anything to do with Twilight.**

"I'm telling you, without a doubt. It _is the best _theme song in the fucking world!" I mean seriously, how can she not agree?

"I dunno Edward. I mean, it's just…"

"You'll understand once I sing a few bars, okay? You'll give it a chance?"

"Sure, go ahead. But I can't promise that I'll change my mind"

"Okay, a chance is all I ask" I clear my throat before I begin.

"_Teenage mutant ninja turtles, teenage mutant ninja turtles-"_

"Bella, it would really help if you didn't laugh at me. I'm trying to be serious"

"Twice in one day, I'm impressed" she's teasing, but I ignore her, and carry on.

"_Teenage mutant ninja turtles, teenage mutant ninja turtles, heroes in a half shell, turtle power!"_

She's grasping her stomach, tears in her eyes. She looks so fucking beautiful, and I can't even appreciate it, 'cos she's hating on the turtles.

"Heroes in a half shell, oh god Edward. You're so fucking cute!"

Well, I ain't gonna disagree with that.

"I still think that _Fresh Prince of Bell Air _has a better theme song." She says, after she's calmed down. We often have these competitive conversations when we're driving. Now we're on a long ass journey so I've strategically picked an argument that I can fight for hours about.

"Bella I'm being serious when I say this. I don't know if I can be with a girl who doesn't even like the turtles" I'm joking, and she knows I'm joking. She owns my fucking balls.

"Oh? Well if you feel like that, I guess we can't have sex anytime soon"

"erm…after rethinking my previous argument, I've decided to retract my statement"

"about the turtles?"

"no fucking way!"

And as we drive the five hour journey, I sing the turtles theme and soon she fucking joins in.

'_cos it's fuck awesome!_

**a/n: my beautiful reviewers! I love you lots and lots. **


	36. Chapter 36

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 36**

"I'm nervous, baby" not only am I meeting her mother for the very first time, but I'm meeting a terminally ill woman. I've never even spoken to someone who is _that _sick.

"Edward she's in so much pain that her medication makes her so sleepy. She basically sleeps almost all day and night. She probably won't even know we're there" her voice cracks as she speaks, and I reach across the console to hold her hand. My poor baby.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn't be thinking about me, again. I should be thinking about you"

"No" she sighs, leaning across to kiss my cheek. "For just a moment I felt like a normal couple going to meet my parents, just what everybody else does."

"We are a normal couple. And I'm going to dazzle your mother, whether she be awake or asleep." She giggles and somewhat relaxes. But how do you really make someone feel better knowing there mother could die any day.

"I got a call yesterday, from the hospice."

"Oh? What did they say?" she never mentioned anything but I had notice she'd been quite all night.

"They said…they said that she's took a turn for the worse. They don't think it'll be long now"

"Oh baby" I pull her as close as possible whilst still driving "I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me last night?"

"I wanted to just…I don't know, I just wanted to forget. You'd cooked a beautiful meal, and I wasn't feeling so great. I just wanted to be with you, and forget"

"Oh sweetheart, I'll look after you"

"I think it might be this weekend, Edward"

"Bella, please don't talk like that"

"No, I really do think it'll be this weekend. Or at least I hope it is. Not because I want her to die, but rather I want to be there with her, so she's not alone. And then you'll be here with me, so I'm not alone"

"Baby, I'll always be here for you"

**a/n: a rather sad one but it was always coming…last one for tonight. See ya tomorrow ;)**


	37. Chapter 37

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: hey all! I love all you beautiful reviewers, I woke up this morning with a full inbox and I'm giddy. Enjoy….**

**Chapter 37**

She'd finished crying when we were only thirty minutes away from the hotel we were staying at. The plan was to dump all our shit and go see her mom for the rest of the day before going to get something to eat at about eight.

The hotel we were staying at was…well my usual. You know big bed, flat screen, and humongous tub. But for poor Bella, the only hotel she'd ever been in was one of those motel things that you can catch a disease by using the spoons. So she looked like she was a kid at fucking Disneyland. She was so cute.

So I tackled her onto the bed. And yes, I totally yelled 'AAAHHHH!' before impact was made.

"Ugh! Edward you are such a child" she laughed, 'cos I started tickling her.

"I think it's already been pre-agreed that we are both the children in this relationship. When we have kids, let's just hope that they could give us a bit of guidance" it was a joke, but she didn't take it that way. She slapped my chest.

_Ouch!_

I give her one overdramatic sigh, before rolling off her and lying on the bed beside her.

"Do you think about stuff like that?"

"Like what? How immature we both are? Sure, all the time. Imagine if we'd never found each other. We'd be like…dead or something. We'd never survive it! We'd be like two orphaned children, aimlessly searching - _ouch! _Bella!"

She fucking hit me…again. Hello anger issues.

"Shut up Edward! I meant like about a future. Like _kids_"

"Oh! Well, sure I think about stuff like that. I mean, I love you baby, but if it's just you and me till we're eighty, I think you'll kill me before my time has come"

"Edward, can we please be adults for this one conversation" her tone was completely different from a minute ago, so I sit up and try to act like the almost thirty year old I am.

"Of course I think about our future. I wanna get married, _to you obviously_, and I want kids. A lot of kids"

"Oh Edward" she sits up and flings her arms around my neck. I take a big sniff of her neck, 'cos she always smells fuck awesome there. "How many kids?" she mumbles, from our entangled form.

"I always dreamed of having a 'Cullen Football Team'. All my own kids, no cousins or shit. 100% Edward Cullen Meat."

"Oh, are you planning to make them yourself, then?"

Damn, didn't think of that.

"Erm…100% Bella and Edward Cullen Meat"

"We're not having a football team"

"Awww Bella" I whine "why?"

"Because you're not the one doing all the heavy lifting, I am."

"Fine, let's agree on six then"

"_Six!?_"

**A/N: more soon ;)**


	38. Chapter 38

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 38**

We made our way over to the hospice after we'd finished hugging. She'd gotten all teary and girly and I didn't get why but I held her anyway.

So now I'm sat here, listening to Bella talking to her mother's sleeping form, as though she's really there. She'd earlier shared with me her thought that sometimes she thinks her mom knows she's there even if she's asleep.

So I hold my loves hand as I introduce myself to the sleeping woman who means so much to Bella. I tell her all about myself, and I tell her how much I love her daughter and how I'm gonna take care of her. I even begin to tell her about our six sprogs but Bella tells me to shut up.

"I know he sounds like an idiot most of the time, but we just…we fit so well together. And he's freaking rolling in dough so I'm gonna hold on to him" she can't even finish the sentence before howling with laughter.

I know she's joking, of course. She fights with me over money all the damn time. Seriously, she wouldn't even let me buy her a magazine for the journey. I did anyway, but she wasn't happy about it.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom. You'll be okay, right?"

"Yes Bella" I sigh "I'm sure the man child is capable of being alone for two minutes" and I roll my eyes to boot.

She just laughs at me, before leaving to room. The room is oddly…awkward when she's gone. Like I should say something but I have fuck all to say.

My eyes run over Bella's mother and I can tell their mother and daughter just by looking at them. Although Renee Swan's body had taken a lot of harm and batter during her illness her brown hair is the same beautiful shade as Bella's and they share the same shape nose. Renee has light blue eyes unlike Bella's deep chocolate pools.

_Hold the fuck on a second. Eyes?!_

"Mrs Swan! You're awake! Erm…I-"

"Edward? Right?" her voice is breathy and raspy and I can practically feel the amount of pain she's in.

"Yes ma'am. Should I get Bella" she winces and grabs her stomach "or a nurse"

"Don't!" she groans as I'm about to press the _nurse _buzzer thingy.

"Where's my Bella?"

"Bathroom"

"Good. You need to promise me something, Edward"

"What is it?"

"Please look after my baby. Please make sure she's happy and always feels loved."

"I will Mrs Swan. I promise. On my life, I'll love and protect Bella forever"

"Thank you" her eyes start to close, and I know what the fuck is about to happen.

I run to the door Bella exited a few moments ago and just begin yelling.

"BELLA! BELLA!" She comes running faster than I'd seen anyone run before. The panic on my face must be evident because she's crying before she's even entered the room.

"MOM! MOM!" she wails. She sat on the bed, both her hands on her mother's shoulder shaking her lightly as though she was just falling asleep.

"Bella. I love you, Bella. You're the love of my life, you always have been. You're such a beautiful, strong and intelligent young woman, and I wish I could spend more time watching you become this amazing person. But now I know you've got someone to love you as much as I love you, I can go now, baby. Let me go"

"I love you Mom" but she's gone. I stand and watch as Bella curls up hugging her mother to her as she cries.

I let her have a few last private moments with her mother, before I scoop her up and hold her tight.

_I'll look after you now, baby._

**A/N: yeah….**


	39. Chapter 39

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 39**

_(One week later)_

The past week has been hell. I mean what twenty three year old should have lost both parents. But Bella has dealt with it surprisingly well. I think it's because of Renee's words just before she's passed. Bella knows now that her mom is in a better place and, as Bella says, she's with Charlie now.

When I asked her how she's taking it so well, she said she was looking forward to our future. I'm not sure what she means, but I have a feeling I will soon.

Actually I think she's thinking about my offer of having elevator sex. I've been trying to convince her for ages and I _know _she wants is as bad as I do.

"Bella" I sing as I round the corner into the kitchen "Wanna join me in the tub…Bella? Hello, Bella?"

She's stood by the window in the kitchen, just staring out of it, in her own little world. "Baby, what's wrong?" I sneak up behind her, and wrap my arms around her waist.

"Oh, I'm sorry Edward. I was inside my head."

"Tell me" I urge. Sometimes she needs to be told.

"I've got something to tell you and I'm scared" it's a hushed whisper that sets my heart racing.

_Please don't leave me. I'll die without you!_

"What is it? You can tell me, baby"

"Please don't be upset. I…I"

"What? Tell me Bella. You know you can tell me anything! Please Bella, you're scaring me!"

"I should have told you sooner and now I'm worried you won't understand" she's taking shuddery breaths and tears are running down her cheeks.

"I'll understand. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together."

She takes a deep, deep breath before turning around and facing me. I can see how utterly terrified she actually is. I reach out and grab her hand, the only comfort I can offer, even if she is about to rip my heart out.

"I'm pregnant, Edward. I'm four weeks pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm having our stolen honeymoon suite sex baby"

**A/N: this was always the plan, even from the beginning! Next update…probably tomorrow ;) I might surprise you though **


	40. Chapter 40

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 40**

"Pregnant?" it comes out in a gasp, but I can't help it.

_Pregnant? Fucking pregnant?_

"I know it's a shock and I understand if your ups-"she didn't finish. 'Cos my mouth was on hers.

_She's having my baby!_

Before I know what the fuck has happened, I've carried her to our room and am currently hovering over her on our bed.

"A baby?" I whisper, as we lay forehead pressed to forehead.

"Yeah. Are you happy?" her eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and she'd never looked more beautiful.

"Bella, you've made me the happiest man alive. Thank you" I begin kissing down her neck "Thank you. Thank you"

"We made it together. With your super sperm that decided to fight the fact that I was on the pill"

_Edward Cullen: Spermanator_

I didn't say that though. 'Cos I'm now kissing her flat belly which will soon become swollen with our baby. The first member of my soon-to-be football team.

"Baby" I whisper into her soft flesh.

She begins to twine her fingers through my locks, and scratches my scalp.

_Mmmm_

"Baby, baby, baby, oh!"

"Oh God, Edward!"

"What?" I whine, 'cos she's gonna yell at me about something, I can tell.

"You were being all romantic then, and you ruined it by singing Justin Bieber."

**a/n: I'm totally gonna write a story called 'Edward Cullen: Spermanatior' **

**more in a few ;)**


	41. Chapter 41

**Dear Miss Swan**

**a/n: I hope not to offend anyone! If your name is featured it was written purely for laughs. **

**Chapter 41**

"What about Lidia?" Bella asked, as she taps her pen against her lips.

"No way"

"What wrong with it?"

"Chlamydia Lidia."

"Oh Edward, you are such a child!" her pen is thrown at me. She's just upset 'cos she knows I'm right.

"Bella kids are cruel. And our daughter will not be bullied because I let _you_ give her a crap name. Besides, Lidia sounds like a villain's name. People will expect her to steal their puppies to make a fur coat"

"That's cruel Ella-"

"It doesn't matter Bella. People will think it. Now, what else ya got?"

"Okay, for a boy. How about Marty?"

"Are you…are you serious?"

"What's wrong with it? I think it's cute"

"Well for one" I count if off on my finger "It's not cute! It's a disaster and two, did you actually go to school Bella? With real children? 'Farty Marty' Bella. 'Farty Marty'."

"Edward, you are such a child! Fine, I really like Ellie"

"Smelly Ellie. Or Ellie with a belly" I laugh, because I'm hilarious.

"It's frightening how fast you're coming up with these." She sighs loudly, looking down at her list yet again.

It's not my fault that I know what names are a no-no. Our poor kid is gonna get bullied if I don't stop Bella. Seriously she'd have named it some hippy name like 'Rainbow' if I wasn't here.

"Okay, Leah?"

"Queer Leah"

"Jesus Edward!" she groans, flopping onto her back!

Now for my fuck-awesome baby names list!

**A/N: Next chapter…maybe tonight or tomorrow. I'm not sure ;)**


	42. Chapter 42

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 42**

"Okay…so my first choice is Michel"

"Oh Edward" she shuffles forward and hugs me "it's a proper name. You're being serious. Thank you"

"Of course I've even thought of a middle name. Want to hear it?"

"Please" it's mumbled because she's kissing my neck.

"Angelo"

"Angelo? Michel Angelo? _Michel Angelo! _Damn it Edward! We are not naming our kid after the '_Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'_!"

"Damn it!" I really wanted that! She slaps my chest again, before moving back towards her side of the room. We're sprawled across the floor, with like a thousand baby name books around us "So I guess Leonardo is out of the question?"

"Yes Edward! No ninja turtle babies!"

"Fun killer!" I mumble but she hears, and throws a pillow at my head.

"Do you have _any _serious suggestions?"

"Penny?"

"_Penny_? Who have you named it after?"

"No one! I swear. I just like that name"

"Me too"

**a/n: this really is the last update of the night. I'll see you all tomorrow. Review please!**


	43. Chapter 43

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: Just two from me today. I've had the ultimate shitty day spend in a hospital ward and coming home with bad news so I really don't feel like writing comedy. So enjoy this and I'll see you all tomorrow ;)**

**Chapter 43**

Work is crap. Because, you know, I'm gonna be a Dad and that's all that's going on in my brain right now, and work calls for my attention and I just can't give it.

_Damn_

But seriously, in the two hours I've been sat here I've done nothing, apart from doodle on my notepad. I've come up with the ultimate nursery for our kid.

Oh and I sent a work email, to all employee's, bar Bella, telling them that I'm gonna be a father. It's tasteful though. _Yo._

Bella comes flying in at about 11am, Iphone in hand, terrifying glare on her face. I may have cupped myself just to…ya know, in case.

_What have I done now?_

"Hey baby" a nervous chuckle escapes me, but soon dies when she does this thing with her eyes. You know that thing, that all women seem to just _inherit. _Yeah, that.

"What is this!" her Iphone is waving around widely.

"What?"

She clears her throat, and with a cocky smirk on her gorgeous face she begins read.

"'_To all employee's, this is an urgent email that must be read by all ASAP. I, Edward Cullen, am going to be a Father in eight months' time. That's right, I knocked her up. In light of this _event, _the office has now become a 'baby-friendly' zone and employees are encouraged to bring their children into work, as long as I can play with them' _Seriously Edward? Seriously?"

"Well, I haven't really been around kids all that much, I thought practice was a good idea. And besides, how did you get that email?"

"I don't know Edward; you must have sent it to 'all contacts' or something. That's not the point. The point is that all your employees are going to be either using this place as day-care or thinking you are the creepiest guy alive"

"I didn't mean it like that though; I just…I got way too excited, and I thought it would be a good idea"

"Next time you have a 'good idea' ask me first. I can't believe you emailed the people I work with and told them you 'knocked me up'"

**A/N: more soon.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: Last one from me today, enjoy.**

**Chapter 44**

"Hello Sir, can I help you today?" she was a snotty young lady that had dollar signs in her eyes. She clearly knew who I was and how much dough I had. I hated her already.

"Yes actually, I'm looking for an engagement ring"

"Okay…was there anything specific, like colour or cut that you would like to see?"

"Erm…well I don't really know what I want yet. All I know is I want a big one"

"Erm, big sir?"

"Yeah, I want the diamond so fucking big you can see it from the moon. So big that it literally hurts her hand to wear it for too long"

"How romantic" she muttered under her breath before giving me a fake smile "I'll see what we have in the back" she scuttled out.

_Yeah, I'm gonna be the most difficult customer you've ever had. _

"How about this?" to be fair it was gigantic, but it was hideous. This blue and pink sparkly thing. It was just wrong. Like…the cookie monster had mated with the pink panther. Just no.

"Eugh, no! That's horrible.I want a ring that says…'I love you, I want to marry you, and not because you're pregnant, I was actually thinking of doing it before we found out but other things got in the way'. Do you have anything that represents that?"

"Erm…you seem to know what you're looking for why don't you have a look at our more…_expensive_ range"

"hmmm" I hummed eyeing the rings in the display case. There were a few I liked but no perfect ones. Not _the _perfect one. "You know what, I think I'll leave it"

"What?" wide eyed now, and she was so fucking sure of a sale. Bitch.

"Yeah, I'm just not feeling it. The staff have left a bad taste in my mouth" I throw over my shoulder as I leave the shop.

I knew I should have gone to _Harry Winston _first. I'll find something she'll love. I won't settle for second best.

**A/N: let me know what you think! **


	45. Chapter 45

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 45**

"So what time is your family getting here, again?" She's sat in front of the make-up station I got for her, and as you would have guess, she's applying her make-up.

_Tonight's the night!_

_No, not that night._

Tonight we're telling the family that we're expecting. Bella wanted to wait _but_ because I sent out that email, which I now realise, _was _stupid, we have no choice but to tell my family.

"Seven" it's mumbled, 'Cos I'm brushing my teeth. She's hums in response but offers no more. I know how hard this is going to be for her. She has no family to tell our good news to. She told me she felt so lonely and lost. So I held her until she smiled again.

_She had me, and I was going to look after her. _

"You okay?" I ask one I finish brushing my teeth. I set on the bed, and watch her reflection in the mirror. She nods and offers me a smile, but her concentration is on the eye gunk she's applying.

"Are you letting me dress myself or are you picking?" I ask, but I still make my way towards my closet. She didn't normally pick my clothes, but today was an odd social function and I didn't have a clue. I wasn't working so I couldn't wear a suit. It was just family so it could be comfortable, but it was still a dinner party so…eugh, fuck it.

"You can pick" _Damn it! _Okay…I'll just play it cool.

"Not that!" Her eyes met mine once again in the mirror.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Edward, this is the night we're telling your family we're having a baby. I forbid you from wearing your _Simpsons 'Angry Nerds' _tee-shirt!"

"Well then you pick" I whine before flopping down on the bed. My arms strategically placed over my eyes.

I heard a sigh, before I felt the material land on my arms and over my head. "Thank you" I tell her, but make no move. I'm just too damn comfortable, which turns out to be a good thing.

_A very, very good thing._

Because a small tight body is soon straddling me, and it feels _so _fucking good.

**A/N: review, maybe ;) the tee-shirts real, I recommend you Google it, it's awesome! I want it **** I'm extremely exhausted so I'm afraid I'll see you tomorrow ;) I promise it'll be at least three chaps tomorrow **


	46. Chapter 46

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 46**

The doorbell rang at exactly 6.54pm. Bella and I both greeted my parents with huge smiles. I'm pretty sure they both thought we were deranged or something but they smiled politely in response.

We entertained them in the lounge making small talk, all the while I was bursting to tell them. I can practically taste how sweet the words would be on my lips, and I was dying to say them.

As we talked we could hear Irina humming from the kitchen, where she was preparing our meal. Bella had wanted to cook herself, but since she'd become pregnant I was overly worried about her, and I knew how stressful cooking to impress the in-laws could be, so I forbade it.

_Don't look at me like that. She forbade the tee-shirt. _

A few minutes passed before the doorbell rang yet again. Bella and I both made our way to greet out guests.

_The perfect hosts._

"Hey, Alice" I hugged my baby sister I hadn't seen in almost a year.

"Hi Edward" her monotone voice replied. Alice was…depressed. Well, eternally depressed. I haven't seen her crack a smile since she was about six.

She wore big, baggy jeans and a big, baggy, black hoodie, and I knew it was to cover the shocking amount of weight she'd put on.

"Jasper" I shook his outstretched hand.

"Edward" he nodded.

If there were an advert for why people should be divorced it would be these two, both of them as miserable as each other.

Jasper was a bum, simple as that. He didn't work; he preferred to sit at home playing video games and eating shit. Alice worked at their local grocery store stacking shelves. They have little money and would not let me lend them anything. Well Alice is too proud; Jasper has often called begging for some cash. Cash, that I'm sure my sister knows nothing about.

"This is my Bella. Bella this is my sister Alice, and her husband Jasper"

"It's lovely to meet you" Bella shook Alice's chubby hand, and whilst greeting Jasper became victim to Alice's longing gaze. Isabella looked amazing tonight, and Alice looked…well, not. The jealously was clear in her eyes.

"I've heard a lot about you. We would have met sooner, but I was unable to come to my cousin's wedding. We had…erm, other commitments"

_Bullshit. I heard Mom talking to Dad saying she's was stuck in her bathroom crying because she's was unable to fit into her 'trusty old black dress'._

"Oh, well we'll be able to get to know each other now" Bella assured her, even though both seemed extremely uncomfortable.

"Mom and Dad are in the lounge."

"_Joy_" was Alice's sarcastic answer as she and Jasper made their way towards where my parents were.

**A/N: yes, I have the power to do this to Alice! Muhahah FEAR ME! Erm…I took it took far, right? Review and I'll see you in a bit!**


	47. Chapter 47

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 47**

Bella and I followed Alice and Jasper towards the lounge.

"Oh Alice" my mother sighed "You could have dressed up a little. This is the first time you're meeting Bella" I could tell by Bella's blush she felt uncomfortable being dragged into this.

"Mom, don't start. Alice is free to dress how she likes in my house" I defend my sister "She just wants to be comfortable"

"Well you could have at least done something with your hair"

To be fair to my mother, Alice's hair was…well let's put it this way. She cuts it herself. And no, I don't mean she's a professional hair dresser and has some weirdly amazing talent to cutting her own hair. No, I dropped in on them one day and watched as my sister raised chunks of her hair above her head and just cut it. It's all in varying degrees of short and just looks…horrendous.

"I'll go get you all drinks" Bella said as she slipped out of the room. I followed, like the love-sick puppy I am.

"You're different around your family" she comment's as I'm pouring the wine.

"Different? How?"

"You're not like _my_ Edward. You act like a thirty year old business man. Not my ninja turtle loving, man child"

I fight the urge to yet again, tell her I'm not thirty. "That's probably because I don't feel like I can be myself around anybody _but _you, Bella"

"Aww" she cooed, as she pulled me into a kiss. Her arms locked around neck anchoring my lips to hers. Time lost all meaning as we kissed, and it was only until a throat was cleared that we separated.

"Erm…I was just wondering if the drinks were ready yet" Oh yeah, it'll have been at least twenty minutes since Alice had a drink, she'll be desperate.

Bella sighs quietly as her arms unlock around me, and I hand Alice her white wine. I notice her face drop at how small the glasses are but she wonders back into the other room without saying anything. I pour Bella some apple juice into a wine glass so my family don't guess, and then together we bring our guests their refreshments.

_Bella tries not to act shocked that Alice's drink is all gone. I already knew it would be._

A few minutes pass of us all cringing, as Jasper begins telling us all about the new level he's achieved on his latest video game.

I actually feel relieved when the doorbell rings. That was until I remembered who it was.

Bella visibly paled when the bell rang out. I was worried she was going to throw up, like she did on the mornings, but she began making her way towards the front door before I could ask.

We both took a deep breath before she opened the door.

"Rosalie. Emmett. Thanks for coming"

**A/N: Yeah…review?**


	48. Chapter 48

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 48**

"Rosalie. Emmett. Thanks for coming"

"Oh, I couldn't miss the opportunity to see you two trying not to fuck each other long enough to host a dinner party. We have bets on how long you'll last" Rosalie gestured between herself and Emmett.

I guess she's still a little upset over the whole..._situation._

We hadn't seen either of them since the hotel that faithful day. The day we screwed in their room and made my mini-me.

"Rosalie, we're really sorry about…you know" Bella really did look ashamed, and I'm sure Rosalie would have started to forgive us if it wasn't for the big dopy grin I was unconsciously sporting.

_I can't help it! Every time I think of that day it just makes me feel all…_warm.

"Yeah, well not as sorry as we are. You two ruined the start of our married life. I hope you can live with the guilt!"

"Oh Rosalie, get over yourself" I immediately regretted the words as soon as they had passed my lips. I prepared myself for her wrath, but it never came.

Instead she gave me a haunting smile with her bright red lips, before pushing past us both and into the house.

"Watch it!" I growled, as she knocked Bella backwards. Luckily I was there to catch her.

Emmett just smiles sheepishly as he passes, but offers no apology for his wife's boisterous ways.

"You okay?" I ask, rubbing her belly. It's still flat, and our little secret, and I love it so, so much.

"Yeah I'm fine. I guess we deserved that" I assume she's talking about the frosty reception and not the push.

"She never would have done that had she known about your little passenger" I know for a fact she wouldn't. Rosalie wants a baby, but Emmett wants to wait till they've had their alone time. It's caused a lot of arguments between them, but they seem to have come to some sort of understanding because I've heard no baby talk in weeks.

"Let's go entertain our guests"

As we enter the lounge, my family are sat listening to Rosalie tell them all about her honeymoon.

She goes on, and on and on.

And I get pissed, because this dinner isn't about Rosalie and Emmett. Everything is always about Rosalie and Emmett. Tonight is about Bella and I, and our tiny belly bean.

**A/N: See you tomorrow! I promise they'll announce it then!**


	49. Chapter 49

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 49**

"Oh, Esme!" Rosalie sighs, her hand resting over her heart "and you should have seen the pool"

"Can we _please _talk about anything _but _you Rosalie!" I beg, whilst stabbing at my steak.

My mother rolls her eyes at my rudeness, and begins filling everyone's wine glass.

"Oh, none for me thanks" Bella rests her hand over the top of her glass to stop the liquid entering.

"Be a sport Bella" my father chuckles "We're all planning on getting drunk tonight and I don't think you'll have much fun sober" everyone laughs, but me and Bella.

My mother goes to pour the wine again, still laughing. "Seriously Mom, Bella doesn't want any wine"

"Oh give it here!" Rosalie stands, grabbing the bottle and proceeds to pour wine into the glass, ignoring the fact that Bella's hand is in the way.

"ROSALIE!" I yell, snatching Bella's hand in my own and proceeding to dry it with the tablecloth.

"Oh relax!" she's giggling. She's also drunk.

Alice wastes no time grabbing the bottle off her and pouring her own drink. _Yet again._

"DRINK IT BELLA!" Jasper joins in, laughing.

"No thanks" she shrugs, keeping her eyes on her food.

"YES!"

"_Jasper!_" I snap "Sit down, and leave her alone" and just to add to the dramatics, I grab Bella's drink and toss it to the back of my throat. It's an odd mix of apple juice and wine, but it's gone now.

"Why would you do that Edward?" The she-devil yells. "Maybe Bella wants a drink"

"No, Rosalie!" I yell right back "She doesn't!"

"Oh wow!" it's a whisper, and her fierce glare drops "That's how it is, huh Edward? She's your little woman and what you say goes?!" annnnnd now she's yelling again.

"Don't you _dare _accuse me of something like that! I would never do something like that to Bella!"

"I'M PREGNANT!" is screamed out, and the whole room is stunned into silence.

"Bella!" I whine.

"Well it was getting ridiculous! I couldn't take the arguing. This was meant to be a special meal!" she bursts into tears, and runs from the room.

_Fucking Rosalie._

**A/N: review, maybe?**


	50. Chapter 50

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 50**

I'm chasing after Bella before I even know what I'm doing.

She's currently locked in the bedroom, and I can hear her sobbing from where I'm stood.

"Bella, baby, I'm sorry _please _let me in!" I plead.

Her sobs don't lessen any, in fact they get louder.

"Sweetheart, I know it wasn't meant to come out like that! I know you had the perfect idea of what it should have been like, and I understand how upset you are. But please, _please _don't shut me out"

When I get no response, I sit on the floor, resting my back against the opposite wall to our bedroom door.

After a few moments, the sobs quieten down to soft whimpers.

_I still don't leave_

She's in there for a further ten minutes before I hear footsteps coming towards the door. It opens hesitantly, and she doesn't spot me sitting down here, until she's opened the door fully.

"You're still here?" she does this gasp/whisper combo.

I hold my hand out, and she tentatively places her hand in mine. As soon as skin on skin contact I tug hard, making her slip into my lap.

Once she comfortable, straddling my lap I cup her face in my hands.

"When are you going to understand, I'm always going to be here" it's meant as more than just being here for her while she cries, it's meant for always.

"I meant that you waited for me to stop being so hormonal"

"I love you, I've always loved you, and I'll always will. That's out little treasure making you so emotional, we made it together and so we'll deal with everything _together_ until we have our miracle in our arms. I can't wait Bella" my lips brush against her, in a soft caress.

"Maybe if it's a boy we can call him Leo. No one else must know he's named after an ass kicking turtle though"

_Holy Yes!_

"Thank you!" I'm peppering kisses all over her face, feeling all emotional as well.

_Do fathers get hormonal?_

**A/N: Who knew Edward was such a romantic? See y'all tomorrow! ;)**


	51. Chapter 51

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 51**

It was sitting here, in the utter bliss of this moment that I knew I wanted it to be now.

Maybe not the now that'd I'd imagined myself doing it, or even the now that she'd dreamt of since she was a little girl, this wasn't the moment but it so, so _was_.

"Marry me" passes my lips before I've even registered what I am saying.

Big, brown doe eyes bore into mine. "What?"

Her hair looks like a bird nest, her face is puffy from crying and she had tear-tracks and smudged make-up around her eyes. She's never looked more beautiful to me.

"Marry me, Bella. You've already made me one of the happiest men on Earth by carrying our baby, now make me _the _happiest man on Earth and say you'll be my wife"

"Edward" it's a sigh. Her dress has ridden up her legs, as she sits straddling me, and I can't help but run my hands up and down her creamy thighs. "You don't have to do this because I'm pregnant. I know it's very fast and was unplanned, but people now-a-day's don't get married just because they're pregnant. I didn't-"

"WAIT!" I forget to show her the fucking ring. It's been in my pocket for the past week just waiting for the perfect moment and I can't believe I forgot _during _the moment.

The black velvet box is lying in my palm; as I flip open the lid revealing the round 3 carat diamond ring. It had caught my eye because it was almost as beautiful and amazing as Bella. The ring itself contains one gigantic rock surrounded in a circle of smaller diamonds; the band too, is encrusted with diamonds. It's a ring a rich man would give his very beloved wife, and that's exactly what Bella is…or soon will be…

…if she says yes.

I'm pretty sure she will, though.

"Oh Edward" it's a gasp this time, and I can tell by the look in her eye that she _knows _this isn't because she's pregnant.

"_Please _Bella. Please marry me?"

….

**A/N: hmm…see you all in a bit ;)**


	52. Chapter 52

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 52**

The 'yes' as barely passed her lips, before mine are on them. A hot, deep, passionate kiss that's showing her exactly how much I love her.

I skilfully manage to slip the ring onto, what I hope is her ring finger.

We're both panting for breath once we pull apart, and I'm watching Bella's face in fascination as she twists her hand round so the diamonds catch the light and sparkles.

A smile bigger then Texas lights up her face and I have this f_eeling _in my chest, like it's about to burst.

She huffs comically and her nose scrunches up "we should go and see to our guests."

I groan in protest and grab her hips when she tries to stand. "No, let's just leave them. Let's go snug in bed" my face is now buried into her neck.

"As nice as that sounds" her fingers are now running through my hair, and it feels…God, it feels heavenly. "We should go and share our happy news. Besides I kind of want to shove _this _in Rosalie's face" she grins holding up her newly decorated hand.

It's childish of me, but I grin devilishly at the thought. Emmett can't afford a ring like that for Rose. In fact, Bella's ring alone probably cost more than their whole wedding did, and whilst normally I hate to make others feel bad due to my wealth, this time I don't hate it. Because Rosalie was acting like a grade A bitch and if this will make Bella feel better then so be it!

We walk back downstairs, and I'm not ashamed to admit we giggled a little on the way. As soon as we re-enter the dining room screams of 'Congratulations' filled the room, and we bask in our pregnancy for a few moments before I yell:

"We're getting married" it only seems fitting since Bella yelled our other news out in a similar fashion. My Mom is crying and hugging both of us, Alice is drowning in drink, and Jasper's fiddling on his cell phone, but…

"Where's Rosalie and Emmett?"

"Oh" my Mother says, as she's wiping her tears, one hand resting on Bella's belly "Erm…I'm not sure"

"Oh no!" I sprint out if the room, running up the stairs. I know for a fact they're not in our room because Bella and I have just been sat outside of it for the past half an hour. After running up to the second floor I can hear their voices. Luckily they're talking not…you know, _moaning. _

But once I've burst into the room they are occupying it's clear that this was their revenge.

"Yes!" Rosalie laughs "This this revenge. You screw in our honeymoon suite, and we've fucking in your bedroom"

"This isn't our bedroom" I can't fucking believe it! It's just…no, no, no!

"Damn it!" Emmett hisses as he's fastening up his pants.

"Why are you looking so upset if it's not your bedroom? It's just the spare room right?" Rosalie's running her fingers through her long hair trying to tame it, I'm sure.

"At the minute it's the spare. But soon it's going to be a nursery" I point over to the wall where I've stuck up different ideas for colours and themes, there's also a pile of stuffed animals just waiting for our little lovebug…and they've ruined it all.

Sure what we did was messed up, but this was just spiteful and taken too far.

I'm so done with them.

**A/N: Forgot to tell you, here's the link to Bella's ring if you want to give it a look ;)**

** www. /store/engagement/ diamond-rings-2/products /belle-engagement-ring**

**Remove spaces and brackets. ;)**

**Poor Edward…reviews may make him feel better ;)**

**See you tomorrow ;)**


	53. Chapter 53

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: hmmm…some of you think Edward has every right to act the way he did, some think he overreacted. Let's see what he has to say today ;)**

**Chapter 53**

"Edward?" a familiar voice breaks me out of my retrieve "You've been doing that for almost three hours now. I think it's clean" I hear her footsteps and soon feel her hands running up and down my back encouraging me to stop scrubbing this area of the floor.

"It still feels all dirty, Bella. Our baby is _not _going to sleep in this room."

"It's just a room Edward, and I'm certain you've got it clean now. Once we've decorated it'll be beautiful, just like you imagined"

"NO! Something as pure as out little baby is _not _going to spend his or her first years in a room that's been…_tainted_! It makes me feel sick, Bella"

"Okay…well we'll make another room the nursery and we'll avoid this one for the rest of our lives" she's trying to make me laugh with that last part, but I'm so fucking upset that I can't give our belly-bean the perfect room. And this room is perfect…was perfect.

"I really wanted this to be the nursery though"

"Why, baby? What's with this room?" she begins pressing kisses to my neck and it does comfort me some.

"I did _a lot _of research. The sun rises at the other side of the house so on the mornings, sleepy eyes won't get hurt. This room is far away from the living room that the T.V. won't wake the baby on the night, but close enough in that I can run the distance in exactly twenty two seconds. This little alcove here-" I get up from my position and walk towards the space "-is the perfect size for a crib, I've even measured it!"

I don't get to finish my lists of reasons, because Bella's kissing me. She's said on more than one occasion that when she hears me being all 'Fatherly' it turns her the fuck on.

We break apart after a few moments until frantic kissing turns into breathlessness.

"I think you should call your parents. Your Mom called again today"

"No thanks" I sigh, my arms dropping from around her waist. I don't want to talk about this.

"Edward it's been almost a week. You've ignored them all long enough; they know they've fucked up"

"Fucked up doesn't even begin to cover it. I can't believe they all acted like that! I've never been embarrassed of my family, but I was pretty damn close that night!"

"Edward it's not like we were out in public, it was just me" She's hugging me tighter, and I can't resist the urge to wrap my arms back around her.

"Exactly! If they can't even act normal for meeting the woman I love for the first time, then they clearly don't respect me or you! Or they just don't see how important that night was for us"

I huff, I'm still not talking to them!

**A/N: hmm…thoughts?**


	54. Chapter 54

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 54**

"Isabella Swan?"

I jump up eager, and help Bella out of her seat. We follow the nurse, who's wearing _spongebob _scrubs, until she's gestures for us to enter a room.

The room is dimly lit, with a couch and the baby-machine in one corner. The other corner consists of the nurse's desk.

She makes Bella pee in a cup, take her blood pressure and asks god-knows how many boring questions.

A_bout diet and stuff. _

I mean, I know it's important and everything. And I'd die if anything happened to either of them, but I'm just too fucking excited. Bella said we'll be able to hear the heartbeat today.

_A baby beat._

Bella is soon asked to sit on the couch and pull her shirt up. She gasps as the gel is poured onto her silky skin and giggles to me that it's cold.

_She's fucking excited too. _

As the nurse moves the stick-thingy around, I look on dumbfounded. I mean, what the hell is she doing?

But then I get it.

A strange whooping noise rings out into the room, and I feel like fucking crying.

_It's the most beautiful thing. _

"And if you look here-"the nurse brings me back into the moment, as she twists the monitor to face us "you can just make out the shape of the baby. Here's the head, and here's the feet"

"Edward" Bella gasps, her eyes a filled with unshed tears but the wonder and amazement that fills them are undeniable. And I'm sure mine mirror them.

This is a life that we created out of love. A love so strong that we now has actual physical evidence of it, for the world to see.

"It's a boy!" I yell pointing out his…erm, manhood "It's leo. And what a boy!"

"That's an arm, Mr Cullen"

_Oh_

**A/N: Se ya later ;) maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow I'm not sure yet. It's Xfactor time here in England ;)**


	55. Chapter 55

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: glad you found the last chapter funny ;)**

**Chapter 55**

Well this is embarrassing. The nurse is desperately trying not to laugh at me, in fact I can see her lip quivering a little, and Bella is already doubled over with laughter.

The nurse is actually having a hard time keeping the wand-thingy on Bella's belly because it's moving too much with her laughter.

"Well" I clear my throat in embarrassment. My brain often gets me into situations such as this, and one would think that I was used to it, but I still feel a little awkward about it. "Can you tell us the sex?"

_If she says this is a boy, I can totally spin this around and make them think they're the idiots._

_Ace._

"The baby seem to be a little shy and doesn't want to show us its gender today. Maybe next time"

"If we wait a bit could it move and then we could see? 'Cos I'm doing the nursery and I need-"

"Edward!" Bella snapped stopping my rambling "We can't stay here and wait for the baby to move. For one, this is very uncomfortable for me, and two, other women have appointments after us"

_Damn_

"Fine, can we come back next week?" the nurse laughs at me again.

"How about in two weeks." I'm about to protest, but Bella beats me to it.

"That's great. We'll book an appointment on the way out" she sends me one of those women glares that says 'Don't you say a fucking word'.

_Fine_

"Okay, here's a list of the prenatal vitamins you should be taking and some of the foods you should be eating"

"Thank you" I help Bella off the couch, and she re-buttons her pants while I wipe the gel off.

_See? I can be a good boyfriend. _

When we leave the hospital, Bella precedes to reenact the '_baby arm situation' _over and over, with her own impression of me.

Let's just say she has no future career as an actress. I'd give her a 6/10 and that's being generous.

Not that I'm some acting Simon Cowell…hmm, I may be onto something there.

'_I'd rather boil my head then see you act again, girl!" _

If I just had the moobs and high waited trousers I'd be in!

**A/N: you know what to do ;)**


	56. Chapter 56

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: I can't believe I forgot to tell you guys! I'm on facebook now ;) friend me – bethviolet fanfic. I'm also on twitter if you want to follow me beth_violet. **

**Chapter 56**

"_Edward! Edward!" _Dream Bella is shaking me. It's weird because she was just about to show me what was under that pretty yellow dress, and now she's shaking me.

I make a noise that sort of goes like this "nnnnnnaaaaaa!"

"_Edward_" more shaking and I'm feeling a little sea-sick…bed-sick.

"You shouldn't give up your day job because that was goddamn awful" slips from my sleepy lips

"_What the hell? Edward, please wake up!_"

"You _do not _have the x factor!"

"_Eugh Edward! Stop playing Simon Cowell and wake up_" I hear a huff and then "THE BABY IS COMING!"

I jump out of bed taking the blanket with me. I'm sure I look like a madman with my semi-crouched position, arms spread wide and eyes darting all over the room.

_Hang on a minute…_

"You're only eight weeks pregnant! That baby is still cooking!" I point an accusing finger at said uncooked baby bump.

"I know and I'm sorry, but you wouldn't wake up!" I take a glance at my alarm clock, and see that it's not awake hours, it's sleepy hours.

"That's because it's 4am. What's wrong?"

"I'm dying for some ice cream" she whines.

_I just fucking bought some._

"So go get some"

"We're all out. Will you go out and get some for me?" I'm about to complain, but she gives me a look that says 'you put this baby in me and it wants ice cream, so go get it!'

"Fine" I sigh, and start putting on some pants "What type?"

"Chocolate" and her smile makes me unable to be even a little irritated with her.

_God, she's adorable!_

"And can you pick up some mustard too?"

_Ew! _

**A/N: I'll probably see you tomorrow, XFactor time! And for those interested I'm totally rooting for **_**James Arthur**_**! He lives like twenty minutes from me haha!**__


	57. Chapter 57

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: This is a surprise update so…SURPRISE!**

**I am writing this as I'm watching XTRA-factor so you should feel very privileged ;)**

**Erm…I just wanted to say something to a reviewer. You didn't sign in so I couldn't reply. Firstly thanks for reviewing. Secondly, I'm 19, I don't have any kids, never been pregnant before nor have any of my friends, so if my facts are off I'm sorry. This story isn't meant to be true to facts, it's just a laugh. It's fun to write and hopefully fun to read. I'm not checking facts and I admit I did muddle up the dates but I'm not going to change anything I've written. I hope you can continue reading and just ignore the errors **

**Let's continue!**

**Chapter 57**

I make time driving to the all night grocery store, just ten minutes away from the house.

It was eerily quiet as I entered, just one employee on the checkout and no one I could see in the store. Said employee looked at me with matching tired eyes, his narrowed before offering me a sympathetic smile.

He must have seen a lot of men on the 4am cravings run, and it sends tingles down me that I'm doing such a thing too, for my pregnant _fiancée. _

I'm currently hunting down the aisles in the unfamiliar grocery store. We normally shop at the larger store another fifteen minutes away, but it's not a 24 hour store.

"Hey!" I voice yells at me "Hey! Hey!" I turn and see a young man running towards me. I stand there, with a look of '_who the hell is this dude'_ pasted on my face. He comes to a skidding stop in front of me, "Hi"

"Erm, hey" it's said slowly and carefully. This dude was…yeah.

"I'm drunk" her states proudly, pointing at himself as though I was confused as to who his 'I'm' was.

"Awesome" I smile, 'cos I wish I was drunk right now.

"Like really, really, really drunk"

"I can tell" I try to walk round him, but he blocks me.

"Can you help me?"

"Look dude, I'd love to help you-" _a lie _"-but I've got a pregnant fiancée at home, waiting for her chocolate ice cream and mustard. So if you'll excuse me"

"Ice cream and mustard?" now he's fucking following me "together? That's gross"

"Yes together, and few days ago she asked for pickles and cream cheese so…" I shrug still looking for the freezers.

"I got your back man" he thumps my back and the only way I'm going to be able to get rid of him is "Fine. How can I help you?"

"I need something" he whines.

"Well, what it is?"

"I can't remember" _someone just kill me now _"I thiiiink it was sex"

"Well, I can't really help you with that, dude"

At that he laughs loudly "I don't want sex with you man. Where do you think I could find some?"

"erm-"

"Where do you get yours?"

"From my fiancée, at home"

"Can I-"

"Don't you dare even finish that sentence!" it's a growl.

"Okay, well where should I go?"

"A club? Girls who are out looking usually go places like that"

"Yeah, but I think I'll just ask my wife. Bye man"

_And he's gone._

And Bella's asleep by the time I get home. _Ace. _

**A/N: you know what to do ;)**


	58. Chapter 58

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 58**

I'm woken up once again, this time with a rough shove and yes, I do fall off the bed.

_Damn._

"What's going on?" the floor is surprisingly comfortable.

"You didn't wake me" a voice sobs, and I can no longer stay lying on the floor trying to sleep, my love's crying.

"What?" I get up off the floor and join her on the bed. Clutched between her hands is the melted chocolate ice cream that I'd bought last night.

The ice cream that I brought upstairs to give to her, only to find her fast asleep.

The chocolate ice cream that I set down on the night stand for one minute while I rested my heavy eyes, that ended up being the rest of the night.

A_nd now she's crying. _

"Oh, I'm so sorry baby" I pull her to me chest, cradling her in my arms.

"You should have woken me!" she cries, tears falling and snotty noses running.

_Yeah I could have woken her, but the last time I had it resulted in a swift karate kick to the face. _

"Now it's all ruined!" she wails, throwing her head back and crying out so loud my ears hurt a little.

"Oh baby, don't cry" I rock her, trying to calm her in whatever way possible "I'll go buy you some more. I'll go right now" I make to stand up, but she cries out 'no!'

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to eat mustard and ice cream anymore, it's making me feel sick just thinking about it" she's calmed down to snivels now, and it's rather cute…well it would be if it wasn't for the snot.

"Well then why are you so upset about it?" _if it's the mess, I'll gladly clean it up. _

"Because I was remembering how much I wanted it last night!"

_Someone save me!_

**A/N: You know what to do ;)**


	59. Chapter 59

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 59**

After all the tears this morning, I decided that some kind of pampering, relaxation day is needed for my pregnant girl.

So I make up a bubble bath for her, and whilst she's soaking I run out to the store and buy my own weight in chocolate and other snacks I know Bella loves. I had to stock up on a lot of stuff 'cos Bella's stomach decided to hated certain things one minute and was desperate to eat the same thing a moment later.

_It was kind of annoying_.

But when I return home, I'm greeted with a freshly cleaned up babe, who is positively glowing in her pregnancy.

"Hey gorgeous, you're looking better. You ready for our movie day? I picked up loads of snacks for you and don't worry, I didn't touch any mustard and ice cream." I laugh as I begin pulling the chocolate bars out and showing her.

"Erm, Edward?"

"What's up babe?"

"We've erm….We've got a visitor" she's biting the loose skin from around her thumb, twisting her toe into the carpet nervously.

"Who?" I drop the shopping bag, and follow her into the living room.

"I told them it was a bad idea, that it was too soon, but they insisted" Bella tells me over her shoulder, as we round the corner into the room.

"Mom, what are you doing here? Ignoring you're incessant phone calls means that I don't want to talk to you, it's not an invitation to come to my home"

"I know sweetheart, but it's been breaking my heart not being here for you. That's my grandbaby in there; I want to be as involved as possible"

"And that's the reason you're here? Not to apologies for acting the way you did in front of Bella? On the day we were announcing our pregnancy? _Or _for trying to pour drink down Bella's throat even after she said 'no'?"

"Edward, of course I am so sorry about that. I was drunk and I know that's not an excuse, but it's all I have. But please, _please _don't punish me this way, by keeping me out of my grandchild's life. Please Edward! It's breaking my heart" she's crying and it does weaken my resolve, but not today.

"We'll talk about this later"

"Please Edward" she begs.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow! Bella's had a rough couple of days, and today is her stress-free day. And having you here is making _me _stressed, which means I can't look after her. So please will you leave now, mother?"

**A/N: yeah…see you tomorrow ;)**


	60. Chapter 60

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: happy chapter 60 ;)**

**Chapter 60**

"Edward, please, I'm so sorry son" my mom pleads.

"Mom we'll talk later. Today's Bella's day so please…don't ruin it! I'll talk to you tomorrow"

"Okay" she whispers, as she wipes a fallen tear. She begins to walk towards the door, but stop next to where Bella is stood.

I sigh

_Can't she get the message?_

But before I can voice my frustrations, she begins talking.

"Bella, I'm so sorry for what I did. I wasn't in my right mind and I hate that I put you in that position. Please forgive me?"

"I forgive you, Esme" she brushes her hand up and down my mother's arm comfortingly "But I think you should do as Edward says and leave now"

She nods and leaves without even a goodbye. I prefer it that way.

"Now" I say, clapping my hands to drag Bella's attention back to me. "I pick up this movie at the store. Judging by the front cover, it's obviously about a cute puppy that's a bit of a scoundrel and the whole family has a whale of a time. Have you seen it?"

"erm" she studies the box and shakes her head "No, I don't think so. Shall I put it on?"

"You get comfy, I'll do it"

Bella grabs her blanket and I know we're going to snug under it.

I just hope this movie cheers her up.

**A/N: you know what to do see you in a bit ;)**


	61. Chapter 61

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: Q – do E & B still work? A – YES! But he's the boss man, so they can have a few days off if he says so ;)**

**Just a silly chapter…**

**Chapter 61**

"Why would they make a movie like that?!" tears, tears and more tears "What happened to the happy ending?"

"Shhhh. It's just a movie, calm down"

"It was a Disney movie. Was it a Disney movie? If it was I'm suing or something, because they are contractually bound to give a happily ever after" more tears and more snot and it's a hideous sight.

"Please calm down; it's not good for you"

"Bella, the dog died! Why? Why did it have to happen?"

"I know and it was sad, but please stop crying"

_It really is something when a pregnant woman has to comfort a crying grown man. _

"I can't! I can't Bella. Marley will never be with us again!"

"He will!" she rubs her hands up and down my back "all you have to do is put the DVD back on"

"JUST TO WATCH HIM DIE ALL OVER AGAIN?" _it so isn't a pretty sight_ "I'm burning that DVD, Bella. I am!"

"Edward, please calm down"

"How are you not this upset?"

"Well I was, when the movie ended, but it's been about an hour now since we watched it, honey."

"You have a heart of stone! It's not my fault that I'm in touch with my emotions" I mean come on! That dog was his best friend! His _best_ friend!

"I think there's only one way we can help all the dog's out there Bella. One thing, and it's my destiny to do this!"

"_Oh God_" she groans, it's meant to be under her breath but I heard "Go on then. Tell me"

"We need to get a dog…maybe more than one. I'm not sure yet"

"Edward-"

"No, no, no!" I interrupt before she can protest "just think about it! We can save all the dogs Bella"

"Edward, we're going to have baby in a few months. Let's see how we can deal with that before we decide to adopt all the sick dogs in the world"

"_Fine_" I huff, but I'm planning.

_I will save all dogs!_

**A/N: Yeah…it's just a silly chapter **** you know what to do now! See you tomorrow!**


	62. Chapter 62

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 62**

"Jane" I say as I step outside of my office. My diligent assistant looked up from the computer and peered at me through her coke-bottle glasses. "I'm stepping out of the office for a few hours. I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"What should I say should you get any calls?" she pulls a pencil out from behind her ear, but it gets tangled in her ginger-afro type hair. I try and fail not to laugh.

_She's like a clown. _

I'll never tell anyone but that's why I hired her. _Shits and giggles_.

After she manages to detangle herself she grabs a notepad and waits for me to speak.

"Just tell 'em…I'm out" I shrug.

Although I can't tell due to her big-ass glasses, I'm pretty sure she's glaring at me.

"And if Miss Swan should wish to speak with you?"

"Hey now!" I scold "We discussed this!"

"Sorry sir, forgive me. Should _Mrs Cullen_ wish to speak with you, what shall I tell her?"

"That's better. Just tell her to get her sweet ass back to work and I'll call her later"

"I'll be sure to pass on the message" is her sarcastic reply. And I let out a laugh at this old lady saying that to Bella.

_She'd freak the fuck out!_

I leave the office not long after that. And a short drive later, I'm pulling into what I'm calling operation paws.

"You must be Mr Cullen?" the receptionist greats me.

"You can just call me Edward"

"Well Edward, welcome to '_Muddy Paws Animal Shelter_' for homeless and sick pets, we want to thank you so much for volunteering. We appreciate all the help we can get"

"Well I really want to help. I saw this movie and I just…"

"Erm, okay" she give a nervous chuckle, obviously uncomfortable with a man showing his emotions. "Well, we were hoping you could maybe feed the puppies that are in the Kennels? They'll all want a bit of a fuss as well so it's the best job"

"I'd love to" so points me in the correct direction and explains how much food to give, water, refreshments etc., etc.

Currently I'm playing with a golden Labrador puppy called Percy.

Once the food's been placed the puppies individual sleeping quarter gates are meant to be left open so the little guys can play together. But after I fed Percy he just decided he wanted to be my shadow…so he's following me. And the little sneak thinks that I don't know he's stealing his friend's food but I'm totally onto him.

I'm calling him my new assistant. He's already better than Jane.

This is the perfect cure for me today. I'm dreading having dinner with my Mother and Father tonight, and a few hours of fun is just what I need.

"_I knew it!"_ a very, very, _very _familiar voice called out, making some of the puppies yelp with excitement.

"Stay back Bella. These guys can be vicious! They can kill on command; don't make me tell them to!" Bella laughs, whilst eyeing the too cute and tiny puppies.

I'm trying to make her laugh because Bella really _can _kill on demand, her own demand. This way I may save me ass.

"Oh really?" she laughs "Go on then"

"Fine, you've pushed me to do this" I don't need to look far for my little friend "Percy, kill" I over-dramatically gesture to Bella, and I'm pretty stunned when he starts running towards her.

_Maybe I'm like a new version of '_The Dog Whisperer_'. That would explain a lot. _

My smugness stops when I see _how _Percy is 'killing' Bella. He's currently trying to lick her to death whilst she's giggling.

_He's such a traitor. _

_He was my friend first Bel-la. _

**A/N: It's a long one so I may or may not update again. I'm just not sure. **


	63. Chapter 63

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: COCKERSPANMOM – I'm sorry, I totally forgot to answer your question. No, I haven't seen Cosmopolis. Sorry, it hasn't been very big over here and I didn't even know it had come out yet. Lol I'm sorry. BUT if anyone out there can help, Cockerspanmom wants to know what happens in the end because she missed it. If you can help just let me know ;) **

**Chapter 63**

"Anyway" I begin to walk towards her and traitor…I mean Percy. "What are_ you_ doing here?"

"I came here to bring you back to work. I knew you'd be here!"

"No you never!" I shot back "I never told anyone?"

"You're forgetting that I know you better than anyone else"

"Oh yeah?" I taunt as I stalk towards her, cocky smirk on my face "Then where'd the dog toys come from?" I point to said toys in her hands.

"I tripped over them…I just picked them up" see, I probably would have believed that, had it not been for her eyes darting all over the fucking place.

"No" I sing, shaking my head "you volunteered! Just admit it. That movie upset you just as much as me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about" but her eyes light up as three puppies come bounding over towards her.

"You forget that I know _you_, Isabella Swan!"

"FINE!" she tries to glare but she can stop smiling at all the cuteness that surrounds us. "I volunteered!"

"Cullen 1" my hands turn into two guns and I fire at her. She rolls her eyes

_My awesomeness shall always win! _

"Well I've done my work, with my helper. What were you sent to do?" I ask her, as I begin rubbing Percy's belly.

"I was sent to see what was taking the 'feminine' guy so long"

"Feminine? Who called me feminine?"

"The girl at reception"

"Damn" so I got a little weepy at the mention of the movie that shall not be named, that doesn't make me girly does it? "I'll have to go show her my ass-kicking turtle power. Then she won't tell people I'm feminine!"

"For the last time!" Bella groaned "you're not a ninja turtle."

_I could totally be a ninja._

**A/N: you know what happens now, right?**


	64. Chapter 64

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: JessJess76 – I LOVE that you find my story so funny that you don't even care that your co-workers now think you're insane! Due to your awesomeness Edward will share his ninja power with you. It's a high honour ;) **

**I own nothing mentioned in this chapter…including the **_**Harry Potter**_** reference. **

**Chapter 64**

"Bella" we're sat in the middle of some sort of doggy play pen "I want this one"

Percy's chasing a ball that Bella and I are rolling to one another. He's doing some crazy growing and it's funny as fuck.

"I know. But I don't think a puppy is a good idea right now"

"pleeeeeeeeease!"

"Edward-"

"I look after him myself! I'll train him and I'll pick up his shit. Pleeeeeeeeease!"

"eugh!" she groans, patting Percy's head as he passes her "I'll think about it"

"Think about it quickly. I want him to come home with us as soon as possible"

"I haven't even said yes yet"

_We all know that 'I'll think about it' means yes. _

"Why Percy though? All these pups are gorgeous! How did you pick so quickly"

_Shit, she knows_

"It's because he's my shadow" I shrug.

_Don't give her eye contact._

_Keep your cool. _

"No it's no-ot" now she's singing. She thinks she's so awesome. She's not. She'd be in '_Hufflepuff_'. Enough said.

"You picked him-"

"Don't say it Bella!"

"Because he's the same dog-"

"Bella, I'm a trained ninja, and I'm not afraid to use my knowledge for evil!"

"As Marley"

"I can't believe you said it! That's lies! All dirty lies! Dirty, rotten liar!"

"I'm right though. Are you going to change his name as well? Little Marley?" she's starts cooing over him, calling him Marley.

"Stop calling him that! That's name is bad luck! You'll taint him and I haven't even taught him how to kick ass yet!"

"You want our _possible _dog to kick ass?"

I choose to ignore the 'possible' remark she made. He's so totally going to be the Donatello to my Michelangelo. And once little baby Leo is born we'll almost be complete.

_And we'll fight all the evil in the world, our secret weapon totally being baby-butt smell. The curtness draws you in, but the stink leave you paralyzed!_

_I wonder what age I can start teaching him the art of ninja…ninja-ism. _

_That's totally a word. _

"Bella?" think innocent.

"Yeah?" her eyes are fixed on the terrier that wants to play tug rope.

"Just…you know, in general, what age do you think a child should start being taught s_elf-defence_?"

"You are _not _teaching any child of ours, may they be male or female, what you have learnt through watching '_Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_'. Because I hate to break it to you sweetie, but you are not a ninja"

_I so have you fooled, Bella Swan._

_Not a ninja! If turtles can be ninja's, I most definitely can! I mean, have you seen how slow those things go? _

**A/N: leave me kick-ass love! ;)**


	65. Chapter 65

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: sorry I didn't update yesterday, it was a hectic day :/ and I'm even more sorry that this is all you'll be getting from me today buuuuut I'm sure (some of) you will be happy that I'm currently working my way through the next chapter of 'I'll Mend Your Heart' ;) **

**Chapter 65**

"Bella?" I'm driving, but we're holding hands.

"Yeah" she puts my holding hand on her tiny bump, and it makes me smile a mile wide.

"Do you think Percy will like baby Leo?"

"Edward, we don't know it's a boy yet" she giggles, because she knows I'd love either boy or girl. I just call it a boy because she said I could call it Leo.

"That's not the point. Do you think they'll love each other?"

"I had a dog when I was young. I loved her, she was my best friend. I think it's extremely hard not to fall in love with your pet"

"You had a dog? You never told me that before."

"mmm." She hums, looking out the window "We had a Beagle called Beryl."

"Beryl the Beagle? Baby that's cruel"

"Hey! I didn't name her! Besides, I loved her anyway. She was the best dog."

"In what way?" it was very rare that Bella would willingly open up about her childhood. With her Father dying and her mother's illness, Bella's had a hard life even if her years on this planet are few.

"Well, she was about two when I was born and my Mom always said that as soon as we came home from the hospital, she was my protector. She'd lie next to my bed if I was sleeping or sit next to me when I was in the buggy. When I was about three I started teaching her some tricks. My mom had taught her as a puppy to 'sit' on command, but I thought that I'd taught her it. I taught her to 'beg' 'speak' 'jump' 'roll over' 'play dead' and things like that. She was so clever"

"Don't Beagles howl a lot?" I remember reading something about how they are bread to howl while hunting.

"Oh yeah, she was loud sometimes, but when I was little I thought she was either trying to talk to me or she was singing, and I'd join in"

Looking at her whilst she's lost in these memories, I realise how much Bella would benefit from a dog. A companion she can teach tricks to and another friend to love and protect her.

Percy would be Bella's Beryl but to our baby. He's keep watch of the baby, and would love it unconditionally. We'd be a perfect family.

We've signed the papers. Now we just have to wait a few weeks and he can come home with us.

**A/N: you know what to do. I'm hard at work ;) see you tomorrow **


	66. Chapter 66

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**Chapter 66**

Bella's in the bedroom getting dressed for tonight's imminent dinner with my parents. I'm not actually sure who else is joining us, but I don't give a shit. I'm just going to be the bigger person and let shit be shit.

I'd rather concentrate on the good things that are coming my way, our wedding and baby. And I'm _not _going to let all this family shit taint this amazing time for me.

I'm in the kitchen trying to steal some food when Irina's not looking.

_But she always fucking catches me. _

"Edward, if you're hungry go make a snack or eat _something_, anything but what I'm currently making for your dinner tonight"

"But I can only smell what you're cooking, and I'm craving it!"

"That only works when Miss Bella says is" she laughs, slapping my hand once again as I reach out for more pork.

"You're probably not aware of this, having had children in the 18th Century and all, but pregnancy has changed and the Father is _a lot _more involved"

That earned me a clip around the ear as she mutters something about me calling her old and how cheeky I am. But she loves me.

Irina has worked for my family since I was born. She's always been there. And when I moved out on my own, my parents offered to let her come with me. At first I thought it was awesome 'cos she would cook for me, but I soon realised it was my parents way of making sure I wasn't getting into too much trouble.

But I love her like a Grandmother, even if she did use to report back to my parents.

"Edward, you are not eating before our meal!" Bella's voice calls as she walks into the room.

"What are you wearing?" it's a tight little purple number.

"A dress" she answers in a 'duh' voice.

"Bella, that dress is so tight, I can see your fucking lungs!" Not to mention I can also see the tiniest of baby bumps.

"Oh Edward, shut up, I won't be able to wear this dress much longer, not when I get all fat"

"I can't wait to see you all…_pregnant_" in wiggle my eyebrows at her and give her my sex voice. 'cos her being all _filled _with _my _child, turns me the fuck on.

She glides over for a kiss, but we're interrupted by the doorbell.

_Ace. _

**A/N: see you later! Just FYI I'm back at UNI tomorrow so I'm not sure if I definitely will update. I'm gonna try really hard to, but just in case I don't, you all know why! ;)**


	67. Chapter 67

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 67**

I may growl a little on the way to the door, but plaster a big fake grin on my face when I open the door.

_Just grin and bear it._

My mother and father are stood in front of the group, Mom's holding flowers and my dad's holding wine.

_Bring a pregnant woman wine, good choice._

I feel like telling him she currently loves drinking melted mint-choc chip ice cream and that he should go and fucking buy her some. But I bite my tongue, no arguments tonight.

_Just think about Bella's stress, she can't get too stressed. _

"Come in, come in" I stand back and gesture for my parents to enter. Alice follows after without her husband.

I'm not actually sure why Alice is here, out of the circus that was our last meal together, and she was the most normal.

Surely calling an alcoholic the most normal person in any social situation is fucked up, but I guess that's how my family is. Fucked up.

"Hey Alice" I actually smile. It's mostly spite to get at my parents, but Alice looks miserable and I feel bad for her.

No matta' she'll find her juice soon enough.

Emmett follows…alone. Thank fuck Rosalie's not here, because there's no fucking way I couldn't have given her a piece of my mind.

Baby room tainter.

"Edward man-" Emmett starts, and I know he's going to apologise but I don't want to hear it.

Although Emmett was clearly a participant in the _activity _going on in what was going to be my child's bedroom, I always get the feeling that he's just following Rose's dictatorship. So, it's easy to forgive Em. Because he's blinded by love, much like I was with the honeymoon suite sexy love.

Which I do feel guilty about, but I'll never regret it.

I'll never be able to regret any time I'm intimate with my Bella.

And I'll never regret the activity that brought me my honeymoon suite sex baby.

"Hello everyone" Bella greats; still looking fuck-hot in her dress.

_Damn_

"Irina is about to serve our food, so why don't we all take a seat?"

_Such a sexy little hostess. _

I lead our guests like they don't know the way, and make sure _I _sit at the head of the table.

Home-owner, husband and father. I'm the head of this household, so I'll take my fucking rightful place.

Isabella sits next to me, and it only makes things more perfect.

"Edward, I want to just clear the air before we begin eating" My father starts. "Your mother and I have been feeling awful all week and you not answering your phone, well…it just meant that we thought things through and we understand how badly we messed up. We not only embarrassed you but tried to shovel alcohol down a pregnant woman's throat. We're all so very sorry"

**A/N: Leave me some love; I've had a shitty day!**


	68. Chapter 68

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: thanks for all your lovely messages, my day got better because of them…and for the person who said that knowing I had a bad day made you feel better about your shitty day, I'm glad I could help! Ha-ha. **

**Chapter 68**

"I'm sorry Edward, Bella. Please forgive our behaviour"

"S'okay" I offer even though it's so s'not okay.

Bella gives my thigh a squeeze. She's proud of me, 'cos I'm acting like the bigger person.

It's what Dad's do…and that'll be me soon. The kids will call me 'Daddy cool'.

They'll come to me for all the cool stuff…like juggling.

_Note: learn to juggle._

_Note 2: Make sure Bella doesn't nor will even be able to juggle. _

_Awesome_

"Where's Rose?" I cut off the currently conversation of wedding plans. I hadn't even realised I'd been absent from the reality for quite so long.

_Awesome juggling distracted me. _

"Erm…there's was an incident at work" Emmett tries to act all cool but he forgets he's talking to Daddy cool and I'm like fucking ice….I forget my point. Basically I can see through his fake-cool.

_That'll do. _

"What happened?" I may not particularly like Rosalie, but that doesn't mean I want her to be hurt or anything. Rose works as the manager of the only beauty parlour in Forks.

_God, any disaster could happen._

_Peroxide in the eye_

_Slipped on clipped hair_

_Half her leg came off when she waxed_…could that happen? I don't get why that _doesn't _happen?

"She was training one of the new employee's and…" he trails off, shrugging.

"And?" Bella presses, in between shovelling mouthfuls in. She's super hungry because baby needs cooking some more.

"And…he wasn't getting to grips with dying" he huffs loudly, playing with his food "so…to put the fear of God into him and force him to do it right, Rose made him dye her hair"

"Hang on" I hold up my hand, holding his story.

_Don't laugh Cullen._

_But the mental image…oh dear god, the mental image!_

"Rosalie made a trainee who was having trouble dying hair…dye _her _hair?"

"In hindsight it was a bad idea" he admits "but, she said she's done that with other employee's before and it always turned out fine. But this time well things ended…a little blue"

_Oh, thank you Jesus! Thank you baby Jesus! _

After my hysterical laughter dies down, I notice Bella's doing that thing where she's laughing so much that no noise comes out, only tears streaming down her face and her shoulder's shaking like crazy. It makes me love her more.

S_he's so fucking cute. _

"But they can just dye it back can't they?" Esme asks, concerned for her niece-in-law.

"They could, had by the time they noticed it was blue they hadn't used up all their 'blond' supply on their customers. Apparently they were running low and no one got any new stock so now…" he shrugs once again.

Oh Jesus.

"So not only is she fuming because of blue hair, but also because her staff are' lacking the basic sense to re-stock supplies'"

And I laugh again…

_I'm pretty sure it's the manager's duty to keep an eye on supplies. _

**A/N: leave me some love 3 **


	69. Chapter 69

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 69**

After recovering from my hysterical breakdown, I decide it would be best to stir the conversation away from Rosalie.

"So where's Jasper?" All eyes shoot to Alice, who shifts uncomfortably under everyone's gaze.

Her eyes dart around further reviling how nervous all this attention makes her. Before answering she takes a large swig from her wine glass.

My mother clicks her tongue, disgusted by how much my sister drinks, but Alice ignores her.

"He's busy" I wasn't going to ask because I could see how uncomfortable she is, but…

"Doing?" I'm pretty sure Bella's close to eating her dinner like a dog…you know just sticking her head in there. She's devouring her meal; her eyes never even left her plate when she questioned my sister.

"Erm…well the new '_Call of Duty' _game came out this morning, so he's busy" she shrugs as though it's nothing, but I can't help but feel embarrassed for her.

Even Bella stopped eating, she was so shocked.

My father awkwardly cleared his throat and once again changed the subject.

"So…made any big wedding plans, Bella?"

I tried not to laugh as Bella tried (and failed) to mask her annoyance at being asked to talk while all she wanted to do was inhale her food.

But, never one to be rude…

"Not really, we haven't really thought about it"

"Oh! We'll help, won't we Alice?" my mother offers.

Alice's nose scrunches up but she says nothing. She's remembering what a pain in the ass planning her own wedding was. In fact she gave up halfway through and just went to church in some cut-off jeans. And if you thought that would be embarrassing, nothing could be worse than their reception…a BBQ at their tiny house, where beer was the classiest thing that was served. And yes, Jasper invited me to play '_World of Warcraft'_ about two hours into the reception.

In fact why are we planning to do a big wedding? Neither of us has actually discussed what we want. Maybe we want just a small do. Maybe we want cut-off jeans and BBQ's …maybe not that far but I don't want a big fuss…unless Bella does, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't because she's completely disinterested with the current weddings idea's my mother's spouting off.

Vegas is looking pretty fucking good right now.

**A/N: Leave me some love! ;) love you all, and I love your reviews even more! **


	70. Chapter 70

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: Hey all! Sorry about not updating yesterday. I've just got an Iphone, so I spent all day in awe of it! It's like…God, it's amazing! It just…wow I can't even! Lol **

**Anywho, I give you this extra-long chapter to make up for my absence. **

**So…yeah, let's get on with it ;)**

**Chapter 70**

Dinner is filled with endless discussion of wedding plans that I already know aren't going to happen. I'm mentally planning Vegas and Bella's still fucking eating.

Anyone would have thought that she'd been starving for a week, and today I haven't seen her without a bag of chips in her hands.

_But I'm not gonna be the dick to question her. _

My family leave after my mother begins to describe to Bella what her _perfect _dress would be. She tried to be subtle when viewing her thoughts on how Bella can't wear white, but she still received the mother of all glares from me.

_My girl can wear whatever she wants on her day! _

After they leave, we change into PJ's and cuddle in bed. Bella has stomach-ache, and I'm not surprised with the amount she ate.

"So I've been thinking-"

"Eugh, Edward" she moans "if this is more wedding plans, please can you save it for tomorrow. I can't take anymore"

"Well, I was actually hoping you would say something like that"

"What are you going on about" her head lifts from its resting place on my shoulder.

"I've been thinking, and you might hate it or think it's crazy, and that's fine! But…I just want to marry you, baby. For me, that's all I care about. And whether that's in a big beautiful church with a big white dress, or in our back garden in flip flops, I _just_ want to marry you."

"Aw, baby" she cups my slightly stubbly face, and kisses my softly "I just want that, too. That whole fanfare that your mother was planning, It just…it's nice…for someone else. Not _us_ though. We're _not_ big fancy crystal fountains and swan ice sculptures. We're _teenage mutant ninja turtles _and chocolate ice cream with mustard."

"Come with me to Vegas."

A surprised and shocked pearl of laughter breaks free from her lips, "what?"

""Let's go to Vegas and get married by Elvis in a _Little White Chappell_. Let's make this day about _us_, and not everyone else. I don't want to spend my wedding day schmoozing with a bunch of relative I've avoided for years. And I don't want to let you dance with a bunch of other men. I want to spend the entire day with you in my arms. Bella, if you want this all you have to do is say, and I'll book us on the next available flights."

"Edward, you can't do that. What about work?"

"Screw that! What's the point being the boss, and sleeping with the boss, if we can't abuse our positions and have a couple weeks off?"

"Weeks?!" she half yells, her eyes getting wider and wider and wider.

"Now, I know you don't think I wouldn't give my bride a honeymoon"

She gives a secret, tiny smile at that, but her morals break through "One day isn't going to work for your family. We'll need to give them at least a week."

"I'm not telling them"

"What?!" eyebrows are almost in her hairline and her eyeballs look as though they may fall out of her pockets.

"Just _you _and _me_"

"Edward…." She takes a second to gather her thought "I know things with your parents aren't great right now, but think of it this way. My parent will never see me get married, they'll never see this baby or any other's we have and they'll never see my happy life. If I could change that, I would in a heartbeat. Don't leave your family behind, Edward. Because when they're gone, you'll really regret it"

"Bella, baby" I gather her in my arms. I _never _wanted her to think I was taking my healthy, loving family for granted. I just thought…I just wanted it to be me and her. Alone. "Bella, I love my parents. I love them so much, even if they are annoying and embarrassing. And I honestly don't know how you managed to survive after all that's happened to you. But this wedding. Going to Vegas. It's not about excluding my family. It's about shifting the focus from everyone else's happiness and onto our own. Sure, my parents will be upset, and maybe after little Penny or Leo arrives we can have another ceremony. But I just…" I end my speech. I have nothing left to my argument.

"Okay, let's do it. Let's elope"

"Yes!" I even add in a fist pump "Hang on, I don't have a horse"

"What?" she laughs.

"I don't have a horse for us to elope on, so we'll have to fly into the sunset in a plane"

_And she laugh's so fucking hard. _

**A/N: leave me some love! **


	71. Chapter 71

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: I messed up big time yesterday, was super busy and yeah…I'm sorry. But if ya didn't know, I'm back at uni now, so I've got homework and stuff. Gotta put that first ya know. But…here's an update.**

**OH! And if you didn't know…this story is actually nearly over. Maybe 10 or so chapters left. And if you haven't worked it out yet, yes a time jump is due shortly! ;)**

**Chapter 71**

We packed and I booked flights on my phone. The next flight was due in four hours so we were a little rushed but we'll make it. We just need to leave in at least 30 minutes.

I've packed underwear and a suit, and then shit load of shorts and vacation wear. Bella's doing the same except I convinced her to buy a wedding dress when we get to Vegas. I don't want to take too much away from her. I want this to be perfect and I could see the longing in her eyes as she was placing a light pink dress in the case and declaring it her wedding dress.

"Edward, do you think I should pack this?" I looked up to see her holding a sheer teddy. Blue

_Fuck_

"Most definitely" the sexy smirk on her face did nothing to calm me down.

"What about this?" this time she was holding up a simple cotton dress. She has no idea where I plan to take her, so she's basically checking almost every item she places in the case.

"If you want baby, but if you need anything while we're away, I'll buy it for you"

It goes quiet for a while, as Bella leave the bedroom to pack all her toiletries.

"What are you going to tell your parents?" her voice startles me, and I jump a little making her laugh.

"Erm…" I shrug "I have no idea. I was thinking 'hey guys I've got great news! I'm married' and then running away!" she laughs again, but she doesn't drop the subject.

"Maybe we should call and tell them, and then if they really want to come they can" it's sweet that's she thinking of my family, but there's no way I'm telling them before-hand.

"Bella, if I call now, my Mom will guilt me into not going and before we know it, you're in some puffy meringue dress and I'll be waiting for you in a stuffy church filled with all the relatives I hate"

"You're right, I just…eugh, I don't know! I'm just worrying about hurting their feelings."

"Bella" I sigh, cupping her face and making her look into my eyes "This is _our _wedding. _Our _special day. _We _deserve to have it how _we _want. There's no room for what _they _want."

"You're right. Come on, we better get going if you wanna have a look around the shops at the airport"

She knows me so fucking well.

"Let's go get married, baby!"

**A/N: let me know what you think! **


	72. Chapter 72

**Dear Miss Swan**

**Chapter 72**

"Oh my ninja turtles!" I yell pulling Bella towards the little shop I'd spotted.

"I already told you, stop saying that! It's _not _going to catch on!" I ignore her because…well what does she know…she's not as cool as me!

W_ord. _

"Look! Look! Look!" I'm yelling as I pull Bella into the store. I spotted said item from across the airport….slight exaggeration, but anywho…

"Edward." Bella tugs my arms, trying to slow my pace "It's like walking a toddler" she mumbles under her breath as we enter the store.

"It's perfect!" it's awesome…it's Spiderman!

"No way!" wh…?

"What?" I take the costume off the rack. "He'll look rocking in it!" I gesture to her tiny bump. I can just imagine a little two year old mini-me, running around with his Spidey senses tingling.

"Edward" it's a warning, head shaking and I know I'm a step off finger wagging.

"Why not?!" yes I stamped my foot, God, dammit!

"Edward, we don't even know if it's a boy yet, and it's for a three year old" she says, tugging at the costumes tag.

"Fine" I go in search of a smaller one. I find one, and just decide to buy both.

"Edward, he might not even like Spiderman"

"Bella" I let out a laugh at how cute she is "Of course he'll like Spidey. He's my son! I've already scheduled our TV time after breakfast. Spidey, turtles, sponge bob…I've got it all worked out, Bell." I explain as I had my items over to the woman on the checkout. She smiles at me but offers no more pleasantries.

"And if it's a girl?"

She thinks I'm so unprepared.

"Dora, Blue's clues, pepper pig…I've got an idiot proof plan B." I don't mention that hidden in the back of my closet is a little fairy costume I couldn't resist for my little princess….or fairy, if she's wearing it.

Either way…boy or girl…we're going to have more kids than one, so…they'll come in. right? Right.

"Edward-"I don't like the way she says it, so I have to stop the words coming out of her. I know it'll just bring me down.

"No Bella. Look at this" I pick up a teeny tiny baby grow off a random rack and show her it. "Look how tiny this little thing is. This is how our baby's gonna be. Our own little ba-ba. Don't you just want to buy the whole store?!"

Her big brown eyes are…well big, and they flicker round the room….before she grabs the baby grow outta my hand and tosses it to check-out women.

"This too, please"

**A/N: VEGAS next chap, people! **

**Ohhh…if you're waiting on IMYH, it'll be with you soon. I've almost finished writing it, then I'm a-sending it my Beta's way before making a roundabout route to …so yeah…soon 3**


	73. Chapter 73

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**A/N: Hey all! Sorry I've not updated in a few days! But what with university and hospital appointments, I've been wiped! Anywho…I know I said this chap would be Vegas, but I heard a totally Edward line today and I had to work it in! So Vegas next chap **_**see if you can figure out the line that I based the chapter around!**_

**Chapter 73**

With our baby clothes bundled in my carry-ons we make out way, hand in hand, towards our terminal.

"Oh my god!" a voice screeched out, and like…chills ran down me, because I knew that voice.

_Stalker! _

"Edward? Edward Cullen is that you?" on hearing my name being called, Bella stopped and began looking around for the caller; I however began walking faster and effectively pull her along.

But the clip-clop of her heals didn't stop, they got faster and faster and louder and louder.

Until….

_A hand grabbed my shoulder. _

"Edward it _is _you. It's been years"

_Yeah, years since you use to spy through my window and go through my garbage. _

I huff "Pick up a textbook Tanya" I snap, her eyebrows draw together before I continue "Because we're history"

"Don't be like that" she tried to laugh it off, her hand rubbing my arm.

_Oh dear. _I know that look in Bella's eye! She's gonna fucking blow up! She's so damn sexy when she's possessive!

I move her arm off of me before Bella can attack and either get sent to jail for murder or hurt herself and baby Leo….more likely murder.

_But she'd look hot in an orange jumpsuit._

_Just saying…_

"We gotta go, but here" I give her my chewed chewing gum "save you going through the garbage later" she flushes and avoids my gaze because she totally knows that I watched her doing it once.

_She's an insane fucker!_

And I'm pretty certain Bella actually _hisses _as we turn and walk towards our terminal.

"You never told me you dated _Big Bird_"

"Just one date, but don't worry, you're totally the _Bert_ to my _Ernie_"

"awww!" she coos "and that _is _true love"

And just like that, we jet off to where our lives will finally begin. Our own _Sesame Street_ love story.

**A/N: see ya tomorrow (hopefully). I'm still working hard on IMYH and I'm**_** almost**_** finished!**

**You know what to do now! ;)**


	74. Chapter 74

**Dear Miss Swan**

**PLEASE READ A/N!**

**A/N: woah, okay. Firstly I want to apologies if the last chapter offended you. I**_** never**_** intended that to happen. However I do believe that with a story like this, where it's just meant to be light and humorous you should just be able to laugh things off. but I would also like to point out that it is fiction that's not meant to offend anyone, and I didn't write it to make fun of overweight people, it was more about Edward's childish and idiotic verbal filter. However i do want to sincerly appologies to anyone who i may have offended, it was not what i intended to do, and i take full responsibility. i made a mistake in my judgement, and it won't happen again. not that I'm trying to defend my actions but everyone makes mistakes right? i'm not perfect and i'm actually very upset that i did offend some of you. i'll understand if you don't want to read this anymore, and to be honest i'm not sure i want to continue writing it anymore...**

**Anyway, due to a few peoples upset, I am taking the last chapter down and replacing it with this chapter. I don't want anyone feeling upset with this story. **

**Buuuut…let's get on with the next chapter, if you're still with me. **

**Chapter 74**

I grab our carry-ons because Bella's all pregnant and shouldn't be lifting too much. We do all the airporty things, like security checks and grabbing our luggage.

Bella makes her way to pick up a rental car. And I snicker.

"This way" I tug her hand and walk in the opposite direction.

"But…Edward, we're going the wrong way"

"No we're no-ot" I sing to her, as she follows behind me. She's still protesting all the way until she spots the driver dude, holding a '_Cullen_' sign up.

And I kid you not; he looked like a walking version of Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

"Hey guys, you the Cullen's?" he asks, but he's already taking the luggage from me.

I nod but I can't resist "Let's ge-ge-get outta here!"

Both he and Bella look at me like I'm insane. But I'm too busy biting my lip to stop laughing.

He gives me a tight smile that clearly says '_I'm worried about this dude's mental state_' but begins walking ahead of us. Wrapping an arm around Bella we slowly follow behind him, I wait until there's a gap before I tell her…

"Bella, are you ready to get into the Mystery Machine?"

"Wh-?"her eyes flick from me to Shaggy and back again, and her laugh is all I need to know that's she's so the same page as me.

"I bet he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for us pesky kids" she does this finger snap thing making me laugh.

When we reach his car, it's actually not a groovy van like I'd secretly been hoping. It's a sleek, black Aston Martin.

"Oh My God Bella" I yell as follow behind her into the back seat. "He even has Scooby snacks!" I point to the chip-goodness that's all for us.

Shaggy gives me a look in the rear-view mirror, but says nothing.

"Let's do what we do best" Bella joins us, grabbing the chips "Eat!" I laugh. 'cos she _so _gets me.

**A/N: So, let me know what you think. See you tomorrow ;) BTW – IMYH will be coming any day now ;) **


	75. Chapter 75

**Dear Miss Swan.**

**WRITTEN FOR THE LOVELY 'MAYSNRS' – (you know why) **

**Chapter 75**

"Hold on" 'cos it's like '_woah_' "Let me see if I actually heard you right. You're actually letting me go shopping _alone _for a suit? A suit for the wedding? Even though I've packed one… one that was pre-approved by you. You actually _want _me to get another?"

"Yes" she huffs, because we've been having this same conversation for about an hour now. "I just think if I'm buying a new dress, you should get something too. And besides you can't come _with _me shopping, so I better give you something to do to occupy your time, else God knows what you'd get up to"

I had plans. Plans that obviously I can't do now but…I'm sure I'll find another time to play on that Dance machine I found earlier. It plays '_Eye of the Tiger_' and I plan to go all _Rocky_ on its ass.

"Okay" I shrug; I don't get what the big deal is. It's just a suit. "I can do that" it'd take…what? Like ten minutes.

"Okay, but no bright colours, kilts, Elvis costumes or whatever else you think is a good idea."

_Out of order! _

"Hey! I have great taste. It's you that makes all these rules up for me. I forget some sometimes"

"Okay, okay" she sighs, hands up in defence. "Just…oh sweetie, if you think it's '_cool_' then I'm not allowing it"

"I was going for a _James Bond _look, but if I can't have cool…then I guess I'll dress as _Screech _from _Saved By The Bell_."

"Alright, James Bond is good; you'd look sexy in a tux. Promise me that's what you'll buy?"

"Bella, you don't see me making all these rules about your dress. You know it's bad look for the bride to dictate the groom before the wedding."

"What?" she asks, eyebrow raised "You just made that up"

"no I'm telling ya. It's bad luck 'cos the groom will elope alone from the original elope. It'll become elope 2.0."

"Oh god!" she groans, throwing her hands over her eyes "Fine, just…there's no point telling you to be sensible. Just go"

I ignore her 'sensible' remark because…she clearly doesn't know what she's on about.

I'm not entirely certain where to go, so when I jump in a cab, I ask him to take me to any suit place. Although physically he's nothing like _Shaggy _from yesterday, this man too offers no form of communication to me. Yesterday hadn't been too bad because I had Bella, but this is just…yeah it's awkward.

About half an hour later, he pulls up at some shopping centre. I pay the man, and leave without another word. I wonder around the centre before I come across window displays of different suites.

The first thing I notice is a '_Storm Trooper_' suit, and everything in me screams to go to it, try it on and buy it, but Bella's words ring in my ears.

_I would totally class that suit as cool. Damn Bella. _

So I walk around the store. The first tux I come across is the traditional black material with a bow tie in deep red. I'm fiddling with the tie when I notice a dog leech attached to the outfit. It makes me think of Percy, and how I'm gonna have to wait a few weeks till I can play with the little guy.

"Can I help you sir?" I turn to see a young girl standing beside me. She's got jet black hair and a ring through her nose. Her eye makeup is heavy black and purple and her lips are painted red.

"Oh erm, well I'm getting married tomorrow. I need something to wear"

"And were you think of this suit?" she has a smirk and I don't get why.

"No, I don't think so. I didn't bring my dog, so" I end with a shrug, showing her the pink leash.

"It's for your bitch, sir" she says, laughing at me now.

_I don't get the joke._

"I told you, I didn't bring my dog, and he's a boy not a girl" I shrug, moving around her. Clearly all that hair dye has gone to her head.

"I'm talking about your bride, sir"

"Wh-th…that goes…what? Huh?"

_I may or may not have ran out of the store._


	76. Chapter 76

**Dear Miss Swan **

**A/N: someone didn't get last chapter…that fine. It was a BDSM joke – that the leach that Edward thought was for a dog, was actually for a person. **

**ALSO someone didn't know what a **_**stormtrooper **_**was. If you've seen **_**Star Wars **_**then you should know what they look like. If not, google it and all will become clear ;)**

**Chapter 76**

"I knew I'd find you here" a clearly irritated and sort of scary voice calls from across the room.

"Damn" I whisper, under my breath. "Sorry, Timmy, you gotta go"

"Ohhhh Mister" he pointed his wet, sucked on finger at me "you saided a swear"

"nu-uh!" my attention is back to Timmy, as he shakes his head at me. But he's lying 'cos I so didn't swear.

"You did, you did, you did!" he starts jumping up and down, making sure to land on the machine loudly, causing everyone to look.

"Edward!" Bella's voice is not _right _in my ear, and I may now be deaf.

"Lady, he said a swear! He needs time out!"

_Snitch _

"You swore in front of a little kid?" she is not amused, but before I can defend myself, he interrupts.

"I'm not a baby!" he yells, even though…ya know, no one mentioned _baby _per se. "I'm so growned up that I know where babies come from!"

I shoot him an eyebrow because…he's like five.

"I do!" his face is all scrunched up and he looks kinda like a duck right now "Everyone knows that ladies are taken away by aliens and put baby aliens inside them!"

"That would make you're an alien" I argue in a 'duh' voice…this kid is…a strange 'en, let me tell ya.

Instead of arguing more, he puts his hands on either side of his face, stretches his face and sticks his tongue out… you know, the universal face of an alien…note the sarcasm.

"That's not an alien face…_this _is an alien face"

"EDWARD!" Bella interrupts just as I'm schooling this kid in awesome. "Where's you're mommy, sweetie?"

"blub blub blub" he answers still giving his alien face. "That means 'she's over there'" he explains, before channelling alien again.

"Edward? I've been looking for you all day"

"Sorry, baby. I came straight here after shopping. I've been waiting for the machine to free up" I kiss her check, before putting a few more coins in the game. "Come on Timmy. Time to go back to Mommy now" I point at his mom, who had been sitting close by watching and listening in the entire time. I spotted her slipping her jacket on and packing her shit in her bag and decided to her help round up Timmy.

"No way!" foot stamp again. "I was here _first_!"

He so wasn't. He jumped on the other side of the dance machine during my game.

"No offence Timmy, but I've been carrying you through this whole game. If I hadn't been here, you wouldn't have even gotten one star in the game!"

"I gots seven stars!"

"No you…the highest you can get is three!"

"You're three!" he runs at me slamming his palms into my stomach….

Timmy then leave…just like that, rendering that entire argument completely pointless.

"Oh Edward" Bella sighs, before laughing hysterically. "It was like you're mini-me was in the room."

_Me and him?...no way, I'm way cooler! _


	77. Chapter 77

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: hey guys! I know it's been…about two weeks, but I've been super busy an all…yeah, I doubt you're reading this so let's just get on with it. **

**Chapter 77**

"So?" Bella asks, once she's stopped laughing at the fact my shoe lace got caught under my other foot, and I effectively flung myself over the bar that runs along the back of the dance machine.

_But fuck did I land that execution. _

_Gold medal here I fucking come, baby. _

"So, what?" I ask her. Because, let's be honest here, Bella has to be the most random person ever. She once started telling me about this awesome cheesecake…whilst eating chocolate cake. Yeah! I know….she's certifiably insane!

"So? Did you get a wedding suit?" she gives me the brow..._scary fucker it is. _

"erm…" I hesitate, rubbing my neck and squinting my eyes. "Well, there was a little bit of an incident-"

"-Oh God Edward!" she throws her hands up in the air "Why is there always an incident whenever you're around?!"

_Whoa….like…not cool man._

"Hey, hey, hey preggo" I huff, hands touching said pregnant bump "Do yourself a favour, and buy yourself some patience" I start to do a little head-roll thing, but the utter mortification on Bella's face tells me its way uncool.

"FY – your information, I _did _get a wedding suit" my chin juts out as I defend myself. "And it is the _height _of fashion"

"Oh really?" Oh doubting Debby, I'll show you. I know what the kids are into…I tried wearing my jeans showing all my under-crackers. Didn't work out too well…they fell all the way down to my ankles in the middle of the grocery store…but I still tried.

"Yes!" I snapped my neck at her. 'cos let's face it…all eyes will be on the groom in this shindig.

"Well-" she gestures towards the door "Want to show me?" I can't tell if she's messing with me or not, but I hold my head high.

_I even offer her my arm, like the gent I am. _

As we walk out of the games room and towards the elevator I hum the wedding march.

"What are you doing?"

"It's the wedding march" I chuckle at her, poor baby doesn't even know.

"No, that's the _Star Wars _theme music.

_It was?_

_Oh yeah._

"Oh yeah" I laugh, doing the tune properly this time.

"That's the graduation song"

_Dammit!_

A/N: So, what's Edward gone and bought for his suit? Leave me some love!


	78. Chapter 78

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: hey all…I know it's been a few days but...yeah, it's been a while ;) enjoy!**

**Chapter 78**

There's a little bit of a queue for the elevator, so Bella and I wait in line…well, I _tried _to push our way towards the front of the line but elbow's McGee over there decided to throw his oddly shaped and rather pointy elbows in my gut.

_Seriously, the guy should think about getting those things filed down or something. He could put someone's eye out. _

The bulk of the group exit the elevator at around floor 2 – 4, and for the rest of the ride up to floor 8, it's just me, Bella and this lady.

Lady had crazy ass hair…it's like the rainbow but I doubt it tastes as good as a rainbow tastes. Lady also had cat eyes. I'm guessing she has those contacts in, and I almost ask her if she's a good pussy, but I think that's a little too far. Besides Bella would probably stamp on my toe…with her big clumpy heals.

_I speak from experience. And that experience wasn't even my fault….that man _did_ look like Albert Einstein and he deserved to know he did. _

But then…Holy Hell, then it happened. Lady, clearly unaware that she's being watched by me in the mirrored walls, reaches up and…Dear Lord, she starts digging for gold.

_There must be some sort of Holy Grail of treasury troves up there 'cos she's having a thorough, yet unsuccessful search. _

It doesn't take Bella long to realise that I'm now starting at this grown woman, with multi-coloured hair and cat eyes, picking her nose. She gives me a nudge but I just smirk at her, and she tries (and fails) to cover her laugh with a cough.

_But I'm so onto you, Bella Soon-to-be Cullen. _

It takes me mimicking her, with over dramatic nose picking motions for Bella to burst into a fit of laughter. Nose ninja turns to look at us, as though we're the freaks, before she pulls a tissue out and starts to blow.

_Dear Lord, what's up with this woman and her boogers? _

"Hey Bella?" I ask, with fake pep and enthusiasm.

Her eye brow raises and she totally know what I'm up to.

"What?" she hisses, eyeing lady who's still swiping and wiping.

"Why did the booger cross the road?" my voice breaks as I speak, and I can barely get my words out due to my near hysterical laughter.

She lets a giggle out, trying desperately to hold onto her composure. "Why?" she wheezes out, through silent laughter.

"Because it was getting picked on" and I laugh so fucking hard, my eyes are crying and my stomach hurts. I'm bent over laughing so hard I can't even breathe.

**A/N: Yeah, just a stupid chapter to (hopefully) give ya a giggle. Edward's suit will be revealed next chapter ;) I know you're all excited to see what he's wearing. **

**Let me know what you think?**

**What's Edward's suit gonna be? **


	79. Chapter 79

**Dear Miss Swan**

**A/N: I know, I know…let's just pretend that huge MIA act didn't happen okay? Who knew university had so much work involved? Haha. **

**Enjoy. **

**Chapter 79**

"Okay" I say as I slip the key-card into the lock. I'm pretty sure there's a knack at how to open them first time round, but it's a knack I have not acquired. "I _know _you're gonna love it!" finally on my third try, the green light flashes, and the door is open.

I gesture for Bella to enter first, knowing that she'll spot the suit that I've hung up purposefully in front of the wardrobe door.

She lets a gasp as she spot it. It does look pretty sweet from this view point. Lying there, with the sun…I hope that doesn't have an ill effect 'cos-

"Oh Edward" Bella whispers, a hand is over her heart and she looks like she may start crying. "You actually bought a proper suit. Not some stupid, costume. A real suit."

"Well thanks for all the confidence." I roll my eyes "It's just a suit, I wear them daily…but I admit, I did want this one to be a little special"

_You don't know how fucking happy I am that she actually likes it. _

"Of course it has to be special, baby" she comes close to give me a sweet, chaste kiss. "It's our wedding day"

I smile along with her because…well yeah, I'm all shades of excited.

She lets out a little giggle, presumably at my expression, before turning and walking towards the suit. "The material looks a little funny Edwa…_what the fuck is this_!" she asks, holding up a sleeve.

She looks likes Hades right now…you know, the bad guy for the _Hercules_ movie.

"Well, I was going it tell you, it's-"

"I know what the fuck it is!" she yells. "Is it all…?" she starts feeling the whole of the suit. The jacket, the pants…and then the tie. "It is! It's all made from leather!"

"Yeah…" I shrug, rubbing the back of my neck. I thought it was pretty rock-star.

"Edward how could you?!" her foot stamps and everything "You said _James Bond_…this is not James Bond. This is some reject from a wannabe _Marilyn Manson _tribute act!"

My first instinct is to kinda say…Marilyn Manson is more about the face art, but instinct tells me that ain't gonna go down well.

"That's not all" I say, discreetly cupping myself….you never know. I thought it was awesome, but I also thought the leather suit was badass.

_Clearly I and my bride have different definition of 'cool'._

_I'm pretty sure mine's the dictionary definition…hers is all girl code. _

_And we all know girls know shit all about being cool. _

"Oh god!" she throws her head back, hands covering her face "Of course it gets worse…it's _you_! I'm the idiot for thinking this was as worse as it gets"

"Look on the back" it's a whisper because I'm hoping she'll miraculously forget, and all will be okay again.

But I can tell by the fire in her eyes, as she twists the jacket around to revel '_Yoda was my Father_' sewn into the material, that I'm in deep shit now.

**A/N: so….? Thoughts?**

**leave me some love as I left midway through coursework to write this, and now wish me luck as I return to my essay :S**

**Leave me a review and I'll love you forever **


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